My War Against Snow Miser

Snow Miser, Maine, winter, humor, Modern PhilosopherWho knew, Modern Philosophers, that my greatest weapon in my long running battle with Snow Miser would not be the countless hours of therapy, all the medications prescribed to me during that therapy, or even my trusty snow shovel?

Turns out that the super weapon I’ve needed to defeat my archenemy, and to conquer my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder, was provided by my allies in Japan.

I’m talking about my RAV4.

Snow Miser has conjured up yet another snowstorm in an attempt to make my life a living Ice Age.  I’m sure the meteorologists have given the blizzard a name, but I just think of them all as Winter Storm Pain In My Ass.

I’m happy to report that I had a great day, stress levels never got anywhere near the red, and I’m all warm and cozy at The House on the Hill while Snow Miser blows his load outside the confines of my home.

I just don’t care what’s going on out there.

Yes, I’m that calm.

Snow Miser, Maine, winter, humor, Modern PhilosopherSnow Miser is a master of psychological warfare.  He knows that my fear of driving in the snow sets off my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder, and makes me an absolute wreck.

I’d worry for days about an impending blizzard because I’d freak out about how I was going to get back and forth to work in the storm.

I’d lose sleep.  I wouldn’t be able to write.  I’d be constantly distracted.

All day at work, I’d watch the accumulating snow and my stomach would be an erupting volcano of stress.

Now, I really don’t care.  And it’s all because I have traded in Zombie Car for a trustworthy vehicle that actually enjoys rumbling through the snow.

If I’d known how much better my life would be with a new car, I would have gotten one years ago.  Sure, the financial stress is a little troubling, but it’s nowhere near the paralyzing stress brought about by having to drive in a blizzard.

I’m totally confident in the RAV4 and my ability to pilot it safely through any storm.

Now I check the weather reports just to figure out how early I need to get up to shovel the driveway, and to see if I’ll still be able to get in my morning run.

Speaking of running, I’d never even realized how my war with Snow Miser was affecting my physical fitness.  I have continued running all winter, which is something I’d never been able to do in the past.

I always gave up once it got too cold and snowy, not wanting to deal with the conditions out on the road.  Assuming I wouldn’t be able to handle it, and that I’d find a way to injure myself by tempting fate to go voluntarily out into Snow Miser’s domain.

Snow Miser, Maine, winter, humor, Modern PhilosopherSomehow, the newfound confidence I’ve gotten from the RAV4 has carried over to my runs.  I no longer fear Maine’s winter running conditions.  In fact, I actually thrive on running in bad weather.  It makes me feel unstoppable, and I’m always pushing myself to go a little further and faster just to show Snow Miser he’s no longer winning this battle.

Of course, I’d much rather it be sunny and warm, but I have stopped living in fear of the harsh six months I like to call The 182 Days of Terror.  Hopefully, Snow Miser will see that I have risen to his challenge, and will consider calling a truce.

I’m done being terrorized by Snow Miser, and ready to live live to the fullest twelve months a year, rather than just six!

Let is snow, let is snow, let it…well, let’s not get too carried away…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to My War Against Snow Miser

  1. stomperdad says:

    I love our AWD RAV4. Snow Miser doesn’t stand a chance. And there’s something inspiring about running in the snow… the cleanliness, the silence, the solitude…

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