Stop Giving My Nose Free Refills!

humor, cold and flu season, life, Modern PhilosopherI’ve never been good with science, Modern Philosophers, so I’m going to need a little help with some questions…

Where does my nose get all the snot?  How is my body constantly creating more?  How many times do I have to blow my nose before it is finally empty?  When can I breathe through my nose again?

I tried Google for the answers, but after my first query turned up nothing helpful, I gave up.  Perhaps I should have asked Google a different question, but I went with…

Where the @#$% does all this snot come from?

Maybe I should have referred to it as mucus?

I don’t know.

All I’m certain of at the moment is that I’m blowing my entire paycheck on tissues, and that is simply not acceptable.

And now I’m writing horrible puns in my blog post.  What is happening?

I thought I was finally kicking this malady that has had me in its death grip since Sunday, but the last battalion of germs has apparently hunkered down in my nose and refuses to give up the ghost.

I went for a five mile run this morning, and I’m not in the habit of bringing a box of tissues along with me on a run.

I wish I had.

humor, cold and flu season, life, Modern PhilosopherEvery quarter mile, I was hocking up a loogie.  I felt like an infected version of Hansel and Gretel as I left behind a trail of mucus so I could find my way home.

All I kept thinking was: Who keeps giving my nose free refills?

Running is hard enough, but when you add the challenge of not being able to breathe out of your nose, it becomes a sweaty, snotty nightmare.  After a while, my nose was running way faster than I was.

There’s going to come a point when my body can no longer manufacture the material it needs to keep my nose stuffed and then running, right?

I mean, there’s got to be a limited supply of mucus in all my membranes.

Would someone with knowledge of how the body works please confirm this for me and put my troubled mind at ease?

I was hoping for a quiet, relaxing weekend, but I’m at the point where I want to punch myself in the head because I’m tired of listening to me blow my nose.

I don’t get why my nose is being such a prick.  The rest of my body has fought back against the germ invaders, so why is my nose choosing to harbor the enemy?

humor, cold and flu season, life, Modern PhilosopherSome of you might remember an earlier post about how being sick has helped my creativity.

Despite what this poorly written post might lead you to believe, I am still on a creative tear.  Progress is being made on the book idea, and I rewrote my bio on that dating website that has led to nothing but headaches.

I don’t consider this nose issue to be part of that whole “sickness equals creativity concept”.

This is nothing but annoying, and to put it in simple terms even my nose can understand: It blows!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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8 Responses to Stop Giving My Nose Free Refills!

  1. D. Parker says:

    Hope you feel better soon, Austin!

  2. grannyK says:

    I hope you don’t have a sinus infection!

  3. Oh my I’ve always thought that no one produces mucus as fast as me but I might have competition – you! Hope your nose goes back to normality soon Austin.

  4. markbialczak says:

    Awful day when your nose runs faster than you do, Austin. But if it didn’t come out there, it would back up into your … let’s not even think of that problem!

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