Holiday Weekend Induced Amnesia

Frank Sinatra, short story, humor, Modern PhilosopherThere’s something both jarring and unsettling about hearing someone clear his throat when you are supposed to be the only one in the house.

I looked up with a start to find The Devil staring at me from the entrance to the living room.  As always, he was well dressed in an impeccably tailored suit.  His red, white, and blue tie was a nod to the holiday weekend.

“What are you doing here?” I asked in confusion as I closed the book I was reading.

“Seriously?” Lucifer asked with a touch of anger in his tone.  “It’s Sunday.  Where else would I be?”

It took a moment for me to glance at my mental calendar and confirm the day of the week.

“Holy crap!” I exclaimed as I reached for my Snapple and took a long sip.  “With it being the holiday weekend and my not having to work tomorrow, I seriously thought that today was Saturday.”

The Prince of Darkness waved off my explanation like it was no big deal, and made his way over to the couch.

“I hope it’s alright if I stay,” he said as he made himself at home on what he liked to call his end of the couch.

“Of course,” I confirmed.  “Although I don’t have anything planned for today.  Hope you don’t mind our having to improvise today’s adventure.”

“That’s fine with me, but perhaps you could explain why you were humming ‘That’s Life’ for the past fine minutes while you were reading,” Lucifer suggested as a devilish grin spread across his handsome face.

Frank Sinatra, short story, humor, Modern Philosopher“How long were you standing there?” I asked defensively as I realized I wasn’t as aware of my surroundings as I’d thought.

“Long enough to hear you hum that Sinatra classic a couple of times through,” The Devil informed him.

I put my book on the table and took a long sip of Snapple as I considered his reply.

“I woke up this morning with that song in my head, and I can’t get rid of it,” I told him when I’d finally had my fill of iced tea.

“Do you often awaken with a mental soundtrack playing?” Lucifer asked as he turned to  give me his full attention.

“I guess it depends on DJ Brainy Brain’s mood,” I quipped.

“At least your inner soundtrack plays the classics,” The Prince of Darkness pointed out as he reached for a Snapple of his own.  “Any significance to this song?”

I shrugged because that very question had been gnawing at me all day.

“No clue,” I confessed.  “The thing is, it’s not even the whole song.  I just keep hearing the same line over and over.  The one about finding myself flat on my face…”

“You pick yourself up and get back in the race?” Satan serenaded me with a smile.

I nodded my assent.  “Then the back up singers kick in and repeat the chorus over and over until Frank decides to hit me with that line again.”

Memorial day, grilling, short story, humor, Modern Philosopher“You should be spending the holiday weekend grilling and watching baseball, not trying to figure out what life lesson Frank Sinatra’s ghost is trying to teach you,” The Devil stated the obvious.

“I’m sure it’s related to last night’s nightmare about J telling me she wanted a divorce,” I sighed in misery.  “My brain wants me to pick myself up from my divorce, and finally get back into the dating game.  Talk about an out of date reference.”

“Another dream about your ex-wife?” Lucifer questioned.  “You need to get her out of the midnight movie rotation.  Replace her with dreams about Rachel or The Sweet Irish Girl if you must have your nights haunted by former lovers.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I growled.  “That nightmare is usually soon followed by the one of J watching me sleep and then trying to kill me.”

The Prince of Darkness shuddered and grimaced.  “I’m the personification of evil, and that nightmare gives me the creeps.  Your brain gets a gold star for its soundtrack, but a failing grade for its dream content.”

“I’m not a fan of the dreams, either, but that’s life…”

Satan chuckled and turned his attention to the Sunday paper.

I opened my book.

Without even realizing it, we both hummed the song as we read.

Happy Memorial Day!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Holiday Weekend Induced Amnesia

  1. Rhino House says:

    Lucky you, after that dream (with a modest change of cast) I wake-up to Carl Orff’s “Carmena Burana” (being hummed by my bank manager).

  2. markbialczak says:

    Happy Memorial Day, Austin. You are picking yourself up and getting back in the race, for sure.

  3. Rhino House says:

    She (the Bank manager) features in my worst dreams because the woman who left me, left with all my cash, with which she had a much closer relationship than she did with me, aided by the manager who held the door open as she left and advised her on her investment policy thereafter. It’s like being murdered (financially at least) by the chief mourner at your funeral while the hearse driver organises the getaway.

    Life, eh? 🤔

  4. 16eparis says:

    A good friend of ours sadly, who passed few yrs back named Tony Musante (look him up on wikipedia) knew, worked with Frank Sinatra….. – the pics of Frankie Baby – caught my eye…

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