Halloween Is Coming! Fetch My Candy Barrel

Halloween, humor, Maine, Modern PhilosopherHappy Halloween, Modern Philosophers!

Usually, this blog is chock full of Halloween themed posts in October, but I just realized I’ve yet to write a single one this year.

My bad.

The Halloween Season begins in Maine on October 1, which means the state is flooded with Otherworldly Beings from across the planet and the great beyond.

I can’t go for a run without be chased by a herd of Zombies, can’t drive to work without being delayed by slow moving caravans of tourist hearses, and can’t get any decent sleep because Gargoyles and Witches are cavorting on my roof all night.

And yet, I haven’t found the time to sit down and write about all the Halloween excitement going on around me.

This has led to some very angry messages from the All Hallows Society, and my eventually being abducted by the mysterious group last night and brought to a secret location to discuss my lack of blog posts about Halloween.

Halloween, humor, Maine, Modern PhilosopherSince I don’t like being dragged from my bed in the middle of the night by hooded strangers, I made sure to carve out some blogging time in today’s schedule.

I’m definitely ready for Halloween.  I’ve purchased five bags of candy, and cannot wait for Trick or Treat to begin.

Of course, I’m not sure if any trick of treaters will show up at The House on the Hill.  It’s a total crap shoot every year.  I try to make it known that I’m home and have candy, but for some reason, the costumed kiddos don’t always visit my block.

You’d think that having a Gargoyle circling the house would attract kiddos in search of treats, but it does not always work.

Perhaps this year, I’ll wrap Gary the Gargoyle in blinking Halloween lights, so he’s more likely to draw attention in the night sky.

If the candy crushers do not knock on my door, I am prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice…

I will make sure no Halloween candy goes to waste, by eating the leftovers myself.

And for that reason, I bought five bags of candy that I love.

Halloween, humor, Maine, Modern PhilosopherSo either way, Halloween is going to be a great night.

I’ll either be visited all night by hordes of spirited celebrants of Maine’s favorite holiday, or I will sit here undisturbed and eat a barrel of candy.

All will be well as long as the All Hallows Society doesn’t make another surprise visit.

Do you have any big plans for Halloween?  Are you wearing a costume?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Halloween Is Coming! Fetch My Candy Barrel

  1. ksbeth says:

    dressing up for my kinder class, as one of the primary colors, i’m yellow, with my partners, red and blue. i bought candy i didn’t like for giving out at home, because i have no willpower! happy haunting!

  2. markbialczak says:

    I don’t think I’m dressing up for work this year, Austin, after two years of going for it. I have an eye doc appointment first in the morning is why. Hey, wait, maybe Mister Magoo … No, my eye doc is too young to get the reference.
    My dear wife has already purchased the candy in hopes that the kids will turn out here. This will be year three at this place. We’ll see Trick or Treat trend-wise.

  3. Adele Ankers says:

    So glad to see that all is well and that you’re getting into the true “spirit” of the season! 🎃

  4. cat9984 says:

    Sounds like fun. I’ve missed your otherworldly visitors.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s