“He is so good at it, that he believes his own lies,” Zeus explained via Skype from Mount Olympus. “He is the antithesis of George Washington, which makes him the current poster boy for Washington, DC. I love the irony, and have to have him on my team.”
No word yet on whether Trump has accepted the position. He’s most likely clearing it through the proper channels, and making sure that the new title will not interfere with his work as President of the United States.
Who am I kidding? He’s just been too busy firing people, venting his pent up rage via Twitter, and, you guessed it…lying.
“I thought once Election Day passed, he might cut back on the lies and try to dabble in the truth a little,” Zeus added with a chuckle, “but he just slammed his foot down on the gas, opened the throttle, and kept burning rubber on the lie highway.”
Due to space constraints, this blog is unable to list all the lies President Trump has told since he was elected. Hell, we probably don’t have the space to list all the lies he’s told since he woke up this morning.
“I wasn’t looking to add a new god to the lineup, but the audacity with which Trump spreads his message of falsehoods is the thing of mythology. He is a storyteller the likes of which mortals have not seen in ages. I mean, seriously, how does he just lie that often and always with a straight face? And not to insult you mortals, but why do so many people believe him, and take his word as gospel? It boggles the mind.”
This Modern Philosopher had no answer for the Father of the Greek gods. I’m just as stumped as he is.
“I’m really hooked on this whole caravan story line,” Zeus admitted. “I want to see where he takes it now that the election is done. Will the caravan simply vanish now that it’s served its purpose, or will Trump continue to use it as his slow moving boogeyman, who pops up in the narrative whenever he needs to scare the hell out of people?”
“We’ve got a little pool going up here on Mount Olympus. I say Trump uses the caravan to justify his firing of Jeff Sessions. He’s going to introduce a plot point along the lines of Sessions organized the caravan, or he controls it via a drone or with his mind. Better yet, maybe Sessions refused to use his elfin magic to turn the members of the caravan into stone pillars to serve as a warning to future caravans. Whatever lie Trump goes with, this game is so much fun!”
When asked why he decided that now was the time to bestow this honor on President Trump, Zeus confessed that the Greek gods’ Twitter feed was really boring, and he saw adding Trump as a great way to bring it back to life.
“The results of the midterms prove that an alarming amount of Americans hang on Trump’s every word, and worship him like a god,” Zeus stated bluntly. “Why not align myself with someone with that kind of power? Plus, I’m looking to add diversity, and Trump would be our first orange god. If he’s good enough for the Electoral College, he’s good enough for Mount Olympus!”
In looking over this post, I’ve realized that this story is such a ridiculous lie, that it’s almost as if it came from President Trump himself…