The Christmas Season is an emotional roller coaster for me. I love the holiday and how everyone is in great spirits. I love the colorful lights, the songs, the holiday movies (including Die Hard!), and all the yummy treats. I love how everyone gets along and forgets how cold and dreary winter can be.
But then there’s the flip side to Christmas.
The hopeless romantic in me really feels the pain of being alone during this happiest time of year. I so desperately want to have someone special in my life to spoil with gifts, to go with to parties, and to hold my hand while we watch Love Actually for the millionth time.
As a writer, I know that Christmas is the perfect setting for a love story. Everything about the season screams that it’s the perfect time to fall in love. There’s something magical in the air, and every year, I convince myself that the Christmas magic is powerful enough to find someone to love me.
I really and truly want to believe.
And then it turns into a Blue Christmas when I realize that I’m not going to meet someone special, and that December 25th will once again be spent alone with no presents to open.
I’m determined not to fall into that trap this year.
If I start out with no expectations, it’s impossible to be disappointed, right?
Yes, I was spoiled by past relationships.
J’s family really made a big deal out of Christmas, so I will forever associate the holiday with how I spent it while we were together. They were so generous with the gifts, and I’d get a kick out of trying to surprise J each year, and top my presents from the previous Christmas.
And I will never forget my former mother-in-law’s Christmas cookies. The best ever.
But there’s no reason I can’t let those memories of Christmas past warm my heart this year. And I certainly don’t have to fall into a funk by remembering previous holidays that were merry, bright, and filled with love.
I’m just going to enjoy Christmas as a single guy, rather than trying to turn it into the third act of a Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie.
I’m going to watch all the movies and TV specials, I’m going to sip eggnog, eat the Christmas cakes and cookies my friends provide, and wander around my neighborhood admiring the beautiful lights and decorations.
I’m not going to think about how much better that would all be if someone was holding my hand, kissing me, and telling me she loves me.
It just doesn’t make sense to ruin the holiday by foolishly expecting love to find me before Santa Claus does.
I’m single. It’s Christmas. I’m fine.