Seriously, though, Modern Philosophers, what’s the deal with candy canes?
A friend and I were talking about acceptable stocking stuffers, and she suggested those oddly shaped red and white sticks that magically appear this time of year.
Not in my stocking, thank you.
I’ve just never understood the appeal of candy canes.
They taste like the hard candy an octogenarian digs out of the very bottom of her purse, and then forces you to “enjoy” even though the “treat” tastes like it’s been sitting around since long before the person who gave it to you was ever born.
It looks like Waldo’s sweater and a piece of medical equipment were fused together in an experiment gone horribly wrong.
I’ve always assumed that candy canes were issued as walking sticks to wooden soldiers injured in the War on Christmas.
I’d hate to think that a veteran of that horrible conflict was hobbling around the icy streets of the North Pole because I was selfish enough to eat his cane.
That’s no way to support the troops.
If you want to stuff my stocking with candy, please step away from the peppermint hooks and head straight for anything chocolate.
I don’t even care what shape the chocolate is in, just so long as it is in my stocking with an eventual destination of my tummy.
Chocolate knows it is a delicious treat, and doesn’t try to be something else.
I mean, you wouldn’t eat an ornament off your Christmas tree, would you?
For ages, candy canes have doubled as Christmas ornaments. What’s the deal with that? Why do they feel the need to work two jobs?
Either you’re a stocking stuffer, or you’re an ornament.
Pick a career and stay with it!
It’s not like people normally eat things they find hanging off trees. How insane would that be?
Maybe there’s a deeper reason I’m so anti-candy cane. I had a troubled childhood, so I wouldn’t doubt there are repressed memories about the candy that looks like it wants to hook itself around my neck and strangle me.
So if you’re planning on stuffing my stocking this year, think chocolate, not peppermint. Better yet, focus on chocolate and peanut butter.
That will earn you a permanent place on my Nice List. Space is limited so act now!
Do you like candy canes? What are your favorite stocking stuffers?
The Return of the Modern Philosopher 
Awful inventions…a terrible stocking stuffer…they are visually pleasing…best left for viewing only
Great minds think alike. 🙂
Yeah, I only use them for decoration.
I refuse to even put them on my tree! 🙂
You can send yours to me…I really miss them.
I don’t have any, but I could go buy you some. 🙂
I won’t stop you…not a candy cane anywhere in the entire country.
Do you think the Grinch stole them all, or they were just recalled by the FDA for being unbelievably gross??? 🙂
Christmas is kind of a new thing here. I brought some candy canes in January when I came back and I think the kids liked them, but no one has ever seen them before. There is just no market.
Where are you? Clearly not in America, Land of Christmas and Candy Canes… 🙂
On the far side of the world….
Perhaps candy canes have not been invented there yet. 🙂
i do like them, but much prefer chocolate
Maybe they’re just too big. So much peppermint in one sitting. I can’t handle it. 🙂
No candy canes for me, either, Austin. Sugar-free chocolate is the way I get stuffed.
Nice choice. I hope your stocking is filled accordingly. 🙂
Reese’s trees and bells it is.
Yum!
My German grandmother used to give us giant German chocolate bars in our stockings.
There isn’t much I miss about my childhood but that chocolate went down smooth.
That does sound delightful!
I love candy canes in fact I hang them on my Christmas tree ever year , now I’m not saying they survive the entire Christmas season but they are nice to look at when my family and I can keep them on the tree that is! Favorite stocking stuff would have to be the peppermint kisses yummy !!!!!!!
You can have all my candy canes then! 🙂
I would happily take them off of your hands!!!
Deal!