Do They Know They’re Christmas Ties At All?

Christmas, fashion, humor, Modern PhilosopherI might not put up a Christmas tree, exchange gifts, decorate The House on the Hill, go to any holiday parties, or bring anyone some figgy pudding, but there is one Christmas tradition I hold sacred, Modern Philosophers…

The Festival of Christmas Ties.

Those of you who have followed the blog long enough are well aware of my hideous Christmas tie collection.

No, I did not buy any of those fashion disasters.  They were given to me as Christmas presents.

Mostly by my former father-in-law.

Every year, he’d hunt in the thrift stores for Tabasco ties, and then give them to me as gifts on Christmas.  And really enjoy doing it.  Even though he knew I didn’t wear ties.  And he was well aware they were just damn eyesores.

That should tell you a little about the man.

I was with his daughter for sixteen years, so I’ve amassed quite the tie collection.

Not all the ties are Christmas ties, but almost all of them are Tabasco ties.  I’ve got Tabasco bottles singing Christmas carols, Tabasco bottles posing as snowmen, Tabasco ties hanging out in the sleigh with Santa Claus as he delivers presents.

As I’ve already mentioned, I very rarely wear ties, but during the Christmas Season, I do my best to remember to dazzle the world with my special fashion collection.

Today was the first day of the Festival of Christmas Ties.

Christmas, fashion, humor, Modern PhilosopherAs you can see from the first photo in this post, I didn’t start off the season with something from the Tabasco collection.

This one was a snowman tie, which means it was probably a gift from my former mother-in-law.  She liked to buy me snowman related gifts, and her taste in fashion was much better than her ex-husband’s.

Because of that, today’s today is one I actually like.

Of course, as always happens when I wear a tie, I was besieged with the usual questions:

Christmas, fashion, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhy are you so dressed up today?

Do you have a job interview?

What’s the special occasion?

Who died?

These questions always perplex me.  How does wearing a novelty tie constitute getting dressed up?  Do people really think I’d wear such a tie on an interview?  Why would I disrespect the dead with such a ridiculous fashion decision?

I often wonder if the reaction to my ties says more about me or the people reacting.

Of maybe it’s just a commentary on life in Maine.  After all, a tie of any sort could be the equivalent of a three piece suit in these parts if you really think about it.

Once I explain that I’m just wearing a silly tie to spread a little Christmas cheer, folks usually laugh and tell me how much they like the ugly thing around my neck.

That’s the cool thing about Christmas…everyone is in such good spirits and trying to stay off the Naughty List that they will lie without hesitation about how nice my weird ties are.

Merry Christmas from your favorite holiday fashion trend setter!

Do you wear anything a little off the wall as part of your Christmas tradition?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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10 Responses to Do They Know They’re Christmas Ties At All?

  1. ksbeth says:

    sweater with a glittery christmas cat )

  2. markbialczak says:

    I try to wear a big smile, Austin, and, yes, dressier clothes than usual at home. (Hello button-down shirt around the house!) I recall your Christmas ties, and they are indeed a hoot.

  3. cat9984 says:

    I have a red t-shirt with an adorable cat that says “Bah Humbug”. And a sweatshirt with a fuzzy sheep that says Fleece Navidad. I’m more into bad jokes.

  4. AAristizabal says:

    Tie season has finally come! Enjoy yourself and Merry Christmas!

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