What Is The Perfect Birthday Cake?

Happy Birthday, birthday cake, humor, Modern PhilosopherTomorrow is my birthday, Modern Philosophers, so I thought I’d pose a very important philosophical question:

What is the perfect birthday cake?

Unfortunately, no one has asked me this question recently, which leads me to believe I’ll be on my own to provide a cake if I wish to celebrate my special day properly.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t discuss the topic and see if we can come to a consensus.

And if this post somehow leads to someone showing up at The House on the Hill tomorrow with the perfect birthday cake, then so be it.

It pretty much goes without saying that I lean strongly towards any dessert that provides me with both chocolate and peanut butter.

Those are the two main dessert groups, right?

So any combination of those two key ingredients would bring a cake that much closer to achieving perfection.

Happy Birthday, birthday cake, humor, Modern PhilosopherIt could be a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting.

Or a peanut butter cake with chocolate frosting.

What I’d really like to try, though, is a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting that also provides a mouthful of chunky peanut butter filling in every bite.

Yes, I’m pretty sure that would be the perfect birthday cake.

Happy Birthday, birthday cake, humor, Modern PhilosopherOf course, no birthday cake is perfect unless it can provide proper placement for the candles.  As you know, the most important role of the birthday cake is to give the birthday boy or girl a shot at having a birthday wish come true.

So a cake with a little extra magic baked inside would be perfect.

Because if a birthday is going to be truly perfect, that wish put out into the universe just before blowing out the candles, needs to become reality.

Happy Birthday, birthday cake, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhen I was younger, so much younger than today, my idea of the perfect birthday cake was totally different.

It was all about the Carvel ice cream cake when I was a kid.  A layer of chocolate and a layer of vanilla, separated by that crunchy stuff that I pretended was a wall that divided the two flavor nations.

It was then my job to negotiate a peace between the nations, and convince them to live together.  In my mouth.

It’s a wonder I didn’t end up as Secretary of State, or at least a diplomat of some sort.

We had that cake for every birthday, and we loved it.  When else do you have ice cream cake during the year?  It was a symbol of a special day, presents, and the potential of a birthday wish being granted.

Happy Birthday, birthday cake, humor, Modern PhilosopherI have to be honest, though, and admit that at this point, the perfect birthday cake would be any cake brought to The House on the Hill tomorrow.

Celebrating another birthday alone would be a bit of a downer, but I suppose the older I get, the less likely I am to remember the day’s events, right?

Even if I do end up by myself on the anniversary of my birth, I’ll make sure that there is some sort of cake to mark the occasion.

And then come up with the perfect wish before I blow out the candles…

What’s your perfect birthday cake?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to What Is The Perfect Birthday Cake?

  1. Calu says:

    Happy Birthday!!!🎂🍰 I fear I’m unable to send actual cake, but I’ll definitely send well wishes and perhaps some sunny Florida 🌴warmth up Maine-way.

  2. lydiaschoch says:

    Whatever kind of cake you might have tomorrow, I hope it’s a delicious one!

  3. madman731 says:

    Red velvet, or a nice ice cream cake. Chocolate is always welcomed. Happy birthday.

  4. D. Parker says:

    Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you, Austin (not possible, but we can have hope)!!! Hope your birthday and cake are special. My perfect cake? Sharing it with cool people, but chocolate is never a bad thing. 😉 As always, you had me at cake. 🎂
    Happy birthday!!! 🎂🎂🎂

  5. davidprosser says:

    Penblwydd Hapus Austin, I hope you get the cake you want though to be fair you’re not giving a lot of notice. As a fellow crappycorn I’m going to take advantage of this opportunity to say it’s my birthday in less than two weeks now if any cooks want to get some practice in. You listening Donna? Double chocolate fudge cake would be great and don’t worry I can really act surprised when it arrives, or even if it doesn’t come to that.

  6. Oh my goodness, happy almost birthday! Chocolate and peanut butter is also my favorite flavor combo, although I make a mean chocolate with chocolate ganache. Oh my…so good!

  7. Ashana M says:

    Oh, I remember those ice cream cakes…I can’t remember if we ever had them, but I know a few lucky friends did. What about getting together with a few friends?

    • Austin says:

      Well, I’m not sure if any of my friends are willing to bake me a cake. 🙂

      • Ashana M says:

        You may need to bake the cake…Maybe it’s too weird to have your own birthday party, it if it’s just cake and coffee with some friends (or whatever–last year I went to the riverbank and we had tea and junk food) then maybe it’s ok. I hear it’s alpha male behaviour to share and give gifts…

      • Austin says:

        Oh, I will be having a party of my own if need be. There will be cake, I’ll watch football, and get some writing done. Just as long as there is cake.

  8. ksbeth says:

    buy your favorite cake and enjoy your day! happy birthday early, austin! i love s’mores instead of birthday cake, but that’s me )

  9. SD Gates says:

    Happy Birthday – I hope you have a wonderful day!!! My perfect cake would be chocolate with mousse between each layer and ganache on top. With maybe some berries too. Yummm!!

  10. Happy Birthday, each anniversary of birth is definitely worth the time to celebrate.. and no matter the number of physical bodies surrounding you at candle blowing time, you can see many people who wish you well.
    All of the flavors sound remarkable. Wishing you a great birthday and hope to see a post on how delicious each bite turned out to be.

  11. markbialczak says:

    Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Austin, Happy Birthday to you!
    You may be happier getting the wish in my writing voice than in my singing voice, my friend.
    Oh, I dearly remember my days of the Carvel ice cream cake for birthdays as well. That crunchy stuff was an ingredient from the gods, yes.
    Chocolate cake, can’t go wrong!
    I hope you receive a baked delivery at the House on the Hill today, good sir.

  12. grannyK says:

    I do like ice cream cakes but otherwise I’m more of a pie person. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Try to enjoy it!

  13. The Hook says:

    I used to love the store-bought cakes that contained enough sugar to render you catatonic after a single bit but time makes fools of us all and forces us to make changes or risk missing future birthdays.
    So I don’t have cake anymore.
    The end.

  14. adamjasonp says:

    Happy birthday, Austin. 🙂
    May your wish come true.

  15. Ocean Bream says:

    When I saw the title of this I though immediately of that movie with Jennifer Aniston, called ‘Cake’, where the idea birthday cake was yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Man, that cake looked good. I’ve never had a birthday cake, nor have I ever wanted one, because my family don’t really celebrate birthdays, we just acknowledge them and move on, but if I ever want a cake, it is that yellow cake with the chocolate frosting.

  16. Louise says:

    personally – anything that Duff Goldman’s team would make me. Main flavors would be chocolate, hazelnut, pecan and or a light strawberry sponge cake with lots of fresh whipped cream..

  17. AAristizabal says:

    Happy (belated) birthday! As for my perfect birthday cake, I have to say that a bakery in my city has a delicious (and kind of decadent) double chocolate cake that tastes like you are eating brownies, so I think that is my choice. However, your peanut butter option seems delicious for me too (though unavailable in my region).

  18. Adele Ankers says:

    Ok, pass me the cone of shame. I have completely missed your birthday. I do partly blame being inactive on the blog (yours being the only blog I check in with these days) and the fact that there wasn’t a single broadcast of this on Twitter. Surely it should have been trending? #HappyBirthdayAustin (or belated in this case). What cake did you opt for?

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