Trump Declares National Emergency Over Lack Of White House Snacks

Trump, national emergency, humor, Modern PhilosopherI knew this was going to happen, Modern Philosophers.

Once President Trump broke the seal on declaring a National Emergency in order to get his way, I knew it was just a matter of time before he used it again.

I mean, why stop at the need for a border wall?  That would be the amateur thing to do, and Donald Trump has proven that he is a total pro at doing the wrong thing.

Details are still coming out of the White House at this time, but several sources have confirmed that President Trump has declared another National Emergency.

This time, it was because there were no snacks in the White House when the Commander in Chief made the executive decision that it was time for a treat.

“If President Trump stays alert and somewhat focused during his morning and early afternoon meetings, he is rewarded with one hour of TV time at around 2:00,” a source, who wished to remained anonymous, explained.  “He usually watches Fox & Friends or cartoons, but he always has a few snacks regardless of the show.”

Apparently, when they President raided the White House kitchen before today’s TV time, he discovered the cupboards were bare.

“He went ballistic!” shared one White House staffer.

Trump, national emergency, humor, Modern Philosopher“He tried to fire everyone on the kitchen staff,” said another source. “Luckily, Vice President Pence was there to give him a lollipop and talk him down.”

It’s unclear why the White House was out of snacks, but one theory is that due to the recent government shutdown, there was a mix up in the shopping schedule.

According to anonymous sources, however, President Trump was sure he knew why his favorite foods were not available.

“Oh, he was completely convinced that Mexican gang members, who had entered the country illegally because there’s no border wall to stop them, broke into the White House and stole all his snacks,” a high ranking White House official disclosed.  “He ranted for a good twenty minutes about border walls, Nancy Pelosi, and the need to assign a Secret Service detail to guard his snacks.”

I’m not sure what’s more troubling in Trump’s scenario, Modern Philosophers: the fact that he believes gang members wandered through the White House unnoticed, or the fact that the President is more upset about his missing snacks than a massive security breach.

Trump, national emergency, humor, Modern PhilosopherOf course, this all begs the question of what will be the next thing to cause President Trump to declare a National Emergency.

My money is on his losing the remote control to the White House TV.  Second is Robert Mueller announcing the results of his investigation.  I could go on, but it simply freaks me out too much to think about it.

We live in troubling times…

What do you think will be the next thing to cause President Trump to declare a National Emergency?  Do you think the need for a border wall justified National Emergency status?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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6 Responses to Trump Declares National Emergency Over Lack Of White House Snacks

  1. davidprosser says:

    Even from the UK we could see there was no need for a National Emergency to be called. The statistics to show there’s no crisis on the border are available and I’m hoping the snacks were missing so the fat b*stard would take some exercise and perhaps have a coronary. No greater gift could he give the Government except to ship his entire family abroad somewhere very isolated.

  2. It will be interesting to see whether he declares a national emergency when he finds out about the Canadian duck hunters heading over the border in the upcoming duck season . And they could be armed and dangerous.

  3. markbialczak says:

    Cheez-Its Crisis, enough already. Good one, Austin.

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