The Ghost Busting My Balls

Ghostbusters, nightmares, divorce, humor, Modern PhilosopherI was exhausted today because I didn’t sleep well last night, Modern Philosophers, and I know exactly who’s to blame…

My ex-wife!

Sure, we’ve been divorced for fifteen years, and I haven’t seen her for almost as long, but that doesn’t prevent her from haunting my dreams.

And last night, I didn’t have just one horrible nightmare about her.

I had two!

The one silver lining of this night of horrors was that I didn’t have the worst of my recurring ex-wife nightmares.  That’s the one where I wake up to find her standing at the foot of my bed, holding a giant knife as she watches me sleep.

That one gives me insomnia for days.

Last night’s midnight madness of the mind was the more frequent story.  I come home, realize she has left me, and desperately try to win her back while wondering how in the world I’m ever going to survive without her.

Freddy Krueger, nightmares, divorce, humor, Modern PhilosopherYes, Modern Philosophers, my ex-wife is the Freddy Krueger of broken hearts and relationships gone bad.

If I get divorced in my dreams, I end up heart broken and alone in real life.

It’s very unsettling.

I have no idea why I still dream about her.  As I mentioned earlier, I haven’t seen her or spoken to her in ages.  She’s not on my mind.  Down deep, I don’t secretly pine for her.

Sure, writing this TV series might have something to do with her appearance in my nightmares.  There is a character based on her, and the story of the early days of our relationship is an important plot point, but the story really is an ensemble piece, and the tale of how we came to be us is not at all the main focus.

When I’m trying to fall asleep at night, I might plot out upcoming scenes in my head, but I make it a point not to think about her character.  I don’t want to grant her easy access to my subconscious right before I fall asleep.  That would be madness!

And what’s the deal with the double feature of divorced themed dreams?

That has never happened before last night.  Usually, I wake up so freaked out from my nightmares about her that I don’t sleep well the rest of the night.  Any other dreams are afraid to form in my head because the characters are afraid they will run into my ex.

nightmares, divorce, ex-wife, humor, Modern PhilosopherI can just picture her, roaming the halls of my mind in a tattered wedding dress, hissing at anyone who crosses her path, and craving the taste of my shattered heart.

Just typing that sentence sent goose bumps sprinting up and down my body.

I’ll never sleep tonight…

These nightmares seem to preempt my regularly scheduled dream programming after I’ve had a particularly stressful day.

Sometimes, such days will inspire the dream about showing up for a big test having not studied for it, or the one where I’m lost on the subway.

Mostly, however, it’s the ghost in the white dress who haunts my dreams and busts my balls.  I might have gotten away from her in real life, but she still always gets the final word in my nightmares…

Do you have recurring nightmares?  Do you dream about people you haven’t seen or thought about in ages?  How long can I survive without sleep?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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9 Responses to The Ghost Busting My Balls

  1. Glenda says:

    Austin, if it helps any, I have nightmares that feature my husband of 36 years! They’re usually about him leaving me for a younger, beautiful woman. I tell him about these night specters and he assures me they’re just not true.

    I know you’re thinking that our relationship is not secure if I have these dreams, but I would disagree. We’ve been through some really hairy sh*t and managed to pull through. I think that sometimes you’re just going to have bad dreams, as unpleasant as that would seem.

    You’ll muddle through. You’re made of tougher stuff than that. In the meantime, take some Sominex or smoke some pot!

  2. markbialczak says:

    The great news is that you’ve survived the divorce for many, many years in both your real life and your dream life, Austin, and onward you go toward bigger things.

  3. User 136789 says:

    Sending sweet dreams your way for tonight. I’m off to bed now, too! Catch up soon. Goodnight 🙂

  4. Hi again Austin!
    I have had many a nightmare about my ex-husband (who I haven’t seen in about 25 years). He had a sex change about 7 years ago, so I am not sure if I can even refer to him/her as an ex-husband anymore. Maybe I should just say EX and leave it at that?
    I have had a lot of strange dreams about various topics. No wonder I have insomnia. Safer to stay awake–or–maybe not. Have you seen my post “Pulte New Home Nightmare.” This is a true daytime nightmare. If you want to see a waking dream gone bad, here is the link:
    WHAT IF this house falls down and I end up living under a park bench or a highway underpass? Daymares and nightmares all rolled up into one, with no escape?! STRESS!

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