Wait!!! Dying Of Frustration

waiting, writing, frustration, humor, Modern PhilosopherSometimes, I hate it when I’m right, Modern Philosophers.

I confessed that I was dragging my feet on writing the Season Finale of my TV series because I didn’t want to be finished spending time with those characters.

I also feared that I would finish the script, deliver it to my producer, and then nothing would happen.

Like I said, sometimes I hate it when I’m right.

It’s been three weeks since I finished Episode 10, and there has still been no feedback on the script from my producer, nor has there been the even more important conversation about how we move forward from here.

Sure, there were a few emails promising a phone call, and one where he dared to tell me to relax, but that phone call still hasn’t happened.

And how well do you think I’m doing with the whole relaxing thing?

I hate the way I feel right now, and I believe I have every right to be frustrated.  I dedicated almost a year to creating this series, outlining the stories, and then writing the scripts.

I did that in addition to working my full time job, writing for The Nite Show, running five days a week, and fighting my way through a Maine winter.

All the sacrifice, hard work, and lack of sleep was worth it, though, because I knew I was on to something special with this project.  I was also tired of waiting for Hollywood to come calling, so I made a conscious choice to take more control of my writing career by creating something of my own.

Raiders of the Lost Ark, writing, humor, Modern PhilosopherOf course, I knew I would still be dependent on the kindness of strangers in order to succeed, and that part always worried me.

The mere thought of having to market myself to Hollywood makes my face melt like I glanced at the Ark of the Covenant.

I’m not good at playing the Hollywood game. I’m not a schmoozer.  I don’t have the confidence needed to cold call agencies and production companies.  I lack the daily recommended amount of narcissism necessary to wheel and deal my way to a deal.

What I can do is create a TV series, write every word of every script for Season One, and deliver a kick ass story that people will want to binge watch.

I just can’t take it to the next level.  If I had the money and the resources, I’d go all Kevin Smith on this bad boy and make it myself.  But I don’t have a comic book collection to sell, nor do I have access to a college dorm and a mansion.

And so I wait.

Still dreaming of the day I walk into the production office, see my name on the door, and the show’s title plastered everywhere.

I’m jotting down notes for Season Two.  Even fleshing out ideas for other series so when this one hits it big, and people come to me looking for my next project, I’m ready to go.

I’m just dying of frustration in the process.

You don’t even know how difficult it has been for me to keep my cool through all this.  I finally wrote to the producer the other night, and keeping that email civil was, perhaps, my greatest challenge as a writer.

writing, humor, frustration, Modern PhilosopherIt’s ridiculous that this series is languishing on my hard drive while other shows, of questionable quality, find their way onto the air.

I really don’t know what to do right now.  I’m hoping that venting on my blog will lessen my frustration, but even so, it will only be a temporary fix.

I’m open to suggestions, soothing words, and gifts of a chocolate peanut butter nature.  Thanks for listening, Modern Philosophers.  It’s nice to know someone is listening as I die a slow, painful death by frustration as I try to live my Hollywood dream…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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16 Responses to Wait!!! Dying Of Frustration

  1. Lori says:

    The only advice I can think to tell you is to go run it off, but I’m sure you’ve tried that already. I’m the waiting is torture. Don’t give up hope.

  2. I hate it when people tell me to relax, I want to punch them in the face.
    That said these are probably busy people so it might take longer than you’d like but can we work on the basis of good things come to those who wait? If it was me, I’d rather they took time to make a right decision than rushed into a wrong one.
    Feel free to put my cartoon face on a dartboard and pepper it with holes while screaming relax!

  3. ksbeth says:

    we only have control over so much, and that is what we do in any situation. no matter what we do or don’t do, the other people have to do their part, and that doesn’t always happen. that being said, I have full confidence that you became an even better writer because of this practice of putting the story into place, though it must be so frustrating to say the least,for it not to be recognized in the way it deserves to be. Hollywood is a business that does not always take the human factor, time and effort into consideration and that is the nature of the beast. just keep doing what you’re doing with the things that give back to you in a positive way and things may happen in a way you never expected.

  4. lydiaschoch says:

    I hope it happens for you soon.

  5. AAristizabal says:

    Run it off, dear Austin. Run those thoughts off, and sooner rather than later they will come to you.

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