You don’t look a day over 200. Congrats on surviving another year. This last one seemed more challenging than others, but here we are, celebrating your big day.
It wouldn’t be a proper birthday without a cake, so I took the liberty (see what I did there?) of getting you a patriotic one. Looks delicious, right?
Now I know you’re busy, so I blew out the candles for you. Everyone was anxious to have some cake, and we couldn’t cut into it while the candles were still burning.
I didn’t think you’d mind.
Oh, since I was blowing out the candles, I thought I might as well make your birthday wish for you. It’s bad luck not to make a wish, and the last thing this country needs is another year of bad luck.
I made the wish that I’m sure a majority of American people wanted. Despite was the Electoral College says, the majority does rule.
The one we have now doesn’t really seem to make the needs of the country a priority.
I’m proud to be an American, but sometimes I’m embarrassed by the actions, words, and tweets of the man the Electoral College put in the Oval Office.
I don’t really think the President would care if he were replaced. It would just give him more time to play golf, make up catty nicknames for his enemies, and focus on his obsession with building walls.
I’m fairly certain the man would be fine with this as long as he got some cake. So I’m saving him the largest slice.
I ran into Uncle Sam at the birthday party, and after I handed him his piece of cake, he asked me what I’d wished for when I blew out the candles.
I was hesitant to tell him at first.
But Uncle Sam put me at ease with a smile, and the assurance that this was a free country, so I could make any wish I wanted.
So I told him that I’d wished for a new President, Modern Philosophers.
Uncle Sam chuckled, and confessed that he had wished for the very same thing!
I guess that means I made the right choice. If Uncle Sam isn’t the very personification of this great nation, than I don’t know who is.
Does anyone know how long it takes for birthday wishes to come true? I really hope we don’t have to wait until next November…
Happy Independence Day!