A Tear In The Vacation Time/Space Continuum

Back to the Future, time travel, humor, Modern PhilosopherScience has never been my strong suit, Modern Philosophers, but I’ve always had this theory that time speeds up whenever I am on vacation.

I think it has something to do with a tear in the space/time continuum, but don’t hold me to that.

Doc always refutes this theory with a chuckle, because I bring it up so often, and then he patiently explains that time moves at the exact same speed no matter what my work or vacation situation might be.

I think he’s wrong, but he’s the world famous inventor and time traveler, while I’m just a goofy guy with a Film degree, who writes about his crazy ideas.

But I still think there’s some truth to my theory.  However, I’d like to talk about new data, which skewers my hypothesis, while at the same time, manages to give some credence to the idea that time moves as different speeds given the circumstances.

As you might know, if you’ve been reading this blog faithfully, I have been on vacation for the past ten days.  I have had a very relaxing time, and I feel like my batteries have totally recharged, but once again, I could swear that time has changed speed on me.

This time, though, I feel like it has slowed down!

Back to the Future, time travel, humor, Modern PhilosopherHow is that even possible?

I’m on vacation, so time should be zipping by faster than the Flash going for a morning sprint around the world.

And yet, several times over the past few days, I’ve lost track of what day it was, and was certain that my vacation had reached its end.  So much so, that one day, I actually made my lunch for work the following day.

What black magic is this?

I’ve never enjoyed a vacation during which time slowed to a snail’s pace.  Not that I’m complaining, but my inner time traveler needs to know.

Is it a tear in the space/time continuum?  Did Captain Klutz trip again and fall into a wormhole this time?  Did I achieve such a high speed on one of my runs that I shifted into time travel mode without realizing it?

Of course, I could be looking at this all the wrong way.  Perhaps I unwittingly discovered the secret formula for slowing down time.  Every day of my vacation has been spent pretty much the same way: sleep in, go for a run, read out on the porch, write, watch the Yankees, and catch up on the shows that have accumulated on my DVR.

Back to the Future, time travel, humor, Modern PhilosopherDoes anyone see something in that pattern that could affect the speed of time?

I’ve got the team of scientists that I keep on retainer studying the data, but I fear that they might be too close to the occurrence to come to a non-biased conclusion.

Obviously, I’ll discuss this with Doc during his next visit, but who knows when that will be?  He’s off on another time traveling adventure with Clara, and could be gone for ages.

The one logical explanation for this wrinkle in the time/space continuum could be that I no longer dread what could happen to me when my vacation ends.  Back in the day, the end of vacation meant jumping back into chaos and stress, so perhaps that gave me the sensation that time was moving so quickly.

Now that I don’t mind what I’ll return to once vacation ends, maybe it just feels like time is moving at a slower pace.

Could I actually be looking forward to going back to work?  That’s a little crazy, but at the very least, I’m not anxious about it.  That’s a new concept for me, so that very well could be mimicking the sensation of time moving slower.

Isn’t it wild how life can turn on a dime?  I was so certain that this was a time travel issue that would require the expertise of my mentor and dear friend, Doc Brown.

Back to the Future, time travel, humor, Modern PhilosopherNow, however, it appears that this is a philosophical dilemma, which is right up my alley. Somebody hold my Snapple while I fetch my toga!

I guess I know how I’ll be spending the last day of vacation.  What a great way to end it!

Do you ever get the feeling that time speeds up or slows down?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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5 Responses to A Tear In The Vacation Time/Space Continuum

  1. eurobrat says:

    I’m jealous. My beach vacation went by like a lightning strike. Like a lot of people, I remember time going much slower when I was a kid. Different mental/spiritual attitude?

  2. jilldennison says:

    Doc is wrong! It is a proven fact that time moves much faster from 5:00 p.m. on Friday until around mid-afternoon on Sunday than it does at any other time during the week. And, I have done scientific testing and proven that the older you get, the more time speeds up, until what was once 24 hours suddenly, by the time you’re nearing 70, is only about 17.5 hours! I don’t know the explanation, for science was always my weakest subject, but I know it to be true!

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