Would You Want To Be A Ghost?

ghosts, philosophy, humor, Modern PhilosopherDeep Thoughts are always banging around in my head, Modern Philosophers.

When I’m running, one such thought tends to rise to the top of the mental pile for me to obsess over as I’m racking up the miles.

Today was no exception.  Appropriately, this morning’s Deep Thought floated to the top of the grey matter just as I was passing the town line and running into Stephen King’s neck of the woods.

Would I want to be a ghost?

Of course, such thoughts are never cut and dry for me.  Especially when I’m pushing myself to run further than I have since my return from injury.

So I really let this one simmer in my brain stew before I came up with an answer.  And I turned it into something of an Afterlife Game Show.

I pictured myself being greeted by the Angel of Death, who held one of those long, skinny microphones like Gene Rayburn used on The Match Game.  He pointed to two white doors that stood out against the black backdrop of eternal nothingness.

The choice was simple: Select Door #1 and haunt the place of my choosing for the next century.  Select Door #2 and enter whatever waited for me in the Afterlife.

ghosts, philosophy, humor, Modern PhilosopherI’m not a big fan of change, Modern Philosophers.  While death is a major change from life, I could make things as close to normal as possible by electing to haunt The House on the Hill as a ghost for the next hundred years.

I feel completely at home there, I’m used to being alone, and if I can survive a Maine winter there, I can survive death there, too.

I have no idea what’s behind Door #2, and that makes me anxious.  For the record, I’m certain that even in death, I would have all my phobias and anxieties.  Heaven could be waiting for me, but Hell could be there, too.  Or purgatory.

Worse yet, what if there was nothing behind Door #2?  What if I stepped through the door, and it was just eternal nothingness?

At least if I chose the ghost option, I’d be assured of ten decades of something.

Since I don’t like change, having to remain in the same place for one hundred years speaks to me.  And I wouldn’t necessarily pick The House on the Hill, either.  Maybe I’d pick Yankee Stadium, so I could watch my favorite team every year.  Perhaps I’d haunt a movie theater so I can keep my inner Movie Nerd satisfied (and enjoy Milk Duds).

ghosts, philosophy, humor, Modern PhilosopherRegardless of what location I chose, I don’t think I’d have to worry about being bored with the same surroundings day after day.  If anything, that would soothe me.

I’m not a people person, so an enticing perk of the ghost option would be the chance to scare people.

I’m not saying I’d go full Beetlejuice, and spend my time driving people out of whatever location I decided to haunt, but I’d certainly have fun spooking them, giving them insomnia, and making them question their sanity.

Just because I’m dead, doesn’t mean that I can’t still be creative.  Coming up with new and unique ways to haunt a house will please my Inner Writer.  And definitely keep me amused for my haunted century.

ghosts, philosophy, humor, Modern PhilosopherI guess I’m not sold on the fact that there is life after death (please don’t tell the Nuns I said that!), and even if there is, I’ve got absolutely no idea what’s waiting for me.

Plus, being a ghost sounds cool.  How could I possibly pass up on such an opportunity?

What about you, Modern Philosophers?  Would you want to be a ghost?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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2 Responses to Would You Want To Be A Ghost?

  1. Calu Gray says:

    Interesting question, and one that definitely gets the mental juices flowing. I think I’d choose the ghost option as well👻. Mostly, though, because I’m so curious about what happens next. Every story I read, when it ends, just sets off a whole round of future possibilities. Future history is such a temptation. Here’s a horror scenerio for you and your beloved Yankees, though. What if in Haunting Yankees stadium, you instead were forced to watch as the Yankees, and all of baseball, fade into nothing but memory. The stadium stands empty for years, then is demolished into a weed overgrown field, with only the grasshoppers for comfort. I’d think that could be the setting for quite a depressing future history. (My apologies for any nightmares; I’m just an 80s Royals fan channeling an old Deep Space Nine episode.) I’ll just drift off now and fade into another future possibility.

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