Halloween Brings Out The Wacky Neighbors

Halloween, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherHalloween Season is in full swing in Maine, Modern Philosophers.  As a result, the state has been flooded with tourists looking to celebrate their favorite holiday.

Most of them, of course, are Otherworldly Beings, who flock to Maine from all over the country, from different dimensions, and from other galaxies because they know they can just be themselves and enjoy Halloween without fear of being judged.

Some of my more entrepreneurial neighbors rent out their homes for the month to Otherworldly Beings “from away”.  This means that I never know who I’m going to bump into while out on my morning run, or when going for a relaxing stroll around the neighborhood.

When I do run into someone interesting, I ask them to pose with me for a selfie, find out more about them, and then check if it’s okay to write about them on my blog.

Here are just a few of the more intriguing “neighbors” I’ve met this week…

Halloween, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherJuvo is a Demon from the fifth ring of Hell, who is visiting Maine for the very first time.

He’d heard exciting stories about the place from his boss, who drops by The House on the Hill every Sunday, and wanted to check it out for himself.

Since vacation days are few and far between (he does work in Hell, after all), it’s taken him many years to finally secure enough time to spend all of October here to really soak up the sights and sounds of the Halloween Season.

Juvo says he is often mistaken for Emperor Palpatine, but doesn’t mind because the Star Wars flicks are his second favorite movie series of all time.  He said only the Hellraiser films are better.

Juvo and I really hit it off to the point that I’ve tweeted this photo numerous times today with different captions.  If you follow me on Twitter, check them out, and let me know which one is your favorite.

Halloween, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherHelga is a Night Wailer from Norway.  She said she loves coming to Maine every year for Halloween because it’s like Summer vacation for her.

Apparently, Norway is one of the few places on the planet that is actually colder than Maine.

Helga says her top priority is to meet as many Otherworldly Beings as possible because she loves to make new pen pals to help pass the never ending Norwegian winters.

Also high up on her list is working on her tan.  Helga says all the other Wailers will be extremely jealous when she returns a much less blinding shade of white.

Of course, that can be a problem down the line since her skin tone acts as a natural camouflage, which protects her from Norway’s infamous Wailer Warriors.

Halloween, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherGruenella is a Witch from Eastern Europe, who claims to be a former faculty member at Hogwarts.  When pressed about her years of service at the famous school, all Gruenella will say is that Hagrid broke her heart and still owes her $75.

Gruenella doesn’t say much about anything, but is constantly muttering under her breath.  I don’t know much about witchcraft, but I did take Latin in high school, so I’m pretty sure she’s whispering spells.

As a result, I try to steer clear of this soft spoken Witch, since I don’t want to be turned into a toad or something even worse.

I’m told that Gruenella is a regular at Three Toads & A Wicked Lady, Bangor’s favorite Witch bar, and she does an unbelievable version of Black Magic Woman whenever the bar has a karaoke night.

Halloween, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherWolfgang is an Austrian Werewolf, who fully embraces the irony of his given name.

“My parents obviously had no idea I’d grow up to be a Werewolf, but I like to tell people they were psychics or time travelers to really freak them out,” he confessed after we’d shared a couple of Snapples.

Wolfgang comes to Maine every October to run with the Wolfpack because Austrian Werewolves aren’t really into cardio.

“They’re more concerned with figuring out how to take over the world.  Running and howling at the moon are seen as distractions from the master plan.”

Wolfgang would like to move to Maine permanently, but says that’s pretty much impossible at this point given President Trump’s stand against immigrants.

If you’ve ever wondered why I love living in Maine, this blog post should put that question to rest.  If you’re not spending Halloween in Maine, you’re not celebrating it properly!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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