The Chinese Food Payoff

quid pro quo, life, humor, Modern PhilosopherI’ve learned from the recent news, that using the “quid pro quo” business method can get you into trouble, Modern Philosophers.

That’s why I’d like to get out in front of a current incident, and take full responsibility for any inappropriate actions on my part.

A friend asked me if I’d help her move today.  I told her I’d be happy to do so as long as she bought me lunch.

I didn’t think much of it at the time.  I was under the assumption that if I were to give up my day off to do some manual labor, I had every right to ask for food in return.

Now I’m worried that I’ve done something horribly wrong, and to make matters worse, I fear I’ve turned it into an international incident by requesting Chinese food for my time.

My lawyer has assured me that I’ve done nothing wrong because I’m not an elected official, I haven’t abused my power, I didn’t disregard the Constitution, and I didn’t threaten to withhold large amounts of foreign aid.

After all, I’m just a Modern Philosopher, and I’m free to request General Tso’s Chicken in return for doing a little manual labor on my day off.

Like John Cusack proved in one of my favorite scenes from The Sure Thing, sometimes, you just improvise and do what you feel is right to help a friend…

If you’ve never seen The Sure Thing, I highly recommend it.  And I’m not asking for anything in return for that movie tip.  It’s just my gift to you.

Now that I think about it, I don’t feel bad about my request for a Chinese food payoff.  It was a perfect request, and you can check the transcripts.  I have the interns jot down all my conversations because I never know when I might want to reference one in my writing.

Maybe the difference with this quid pro quo, is that I didn’t demand anything.  I just put out there what I’d hope to get for lending a hand.  The truth is, I would have helped my friend regardless.  I mean, that’s what friends do, right?

By that same logic, friends offer to buy friends lunch for doing favors.

I have no problem asking my friends for food.  Maybe that’s why I have to run so often.  But if I have friends who are excellent cooks and bakers, aren’t I just showing my support for their talents by asking them to show them off by making me something?

humor, food, Modern PhilosopherJust yesterday, a friend made me the delicious treats in the photo to the left.

If I hadn’t asked her to make them, I not only would never have gotten to eat them, but I also wouldn’t have this picture to share with you in my blog post.

And before you ask, yes, I checked the transcripts, and I made a perfect request.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar who is jealous that no one ever bakes him yummy treats!

In summation, I helped out a friend today, and was rewarded with Chinese food.

Since it is Chinese New Year, the lunch request seems even more perfect.  Sometimes, you just do everything right, and you still get raked over the coals.

In this case, however, I believe everything is going to be okay!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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12 Responses to The Chinese Food Payoff

  1. Ocean Bream says:

    Phew!!! I thought that somehow you had triggered a Very Bad Thing with your friend by asking for food in return for your help. Lol! I see nothing wrong in that either, and yes, friends do offer to buy friends food especially if the latter friends have helped the former friends lift heavy furniture! You gotta replace those lost calories with some tasty nutrition 🙂

  2. beth says:

    your call was perfect.

  3. Yeah you’re good. However, if for some reason you do get into trouble just yell, “I don’t even know this guy!” It works far better than expected.

  4. markbialczak says:

    No problem with a little eggrolla for your hard labor, Austin.

  5. AAristizabal says:

    Dear Austin, as a dutiful compliance employee, I can confirm I do not see any misconduct whatsoever on your side; so enjoy your Chinese food and your friend’s treats…and the run afterwards!

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