Surviving My Amish Snow Day

Maine, blizzard, ice storm, humor, Modern PhilosopherIt snowed for the last two days, Modern Philosophers.  That’s no news flash, as it snows almost every day this time of year.

The difference this time, though, was that the snowstorm’s big encore was an ice storm.  The conditions were so bad that they actually let us leave work at 3:00.

I was thrilled to start my weekend early, and I’d had the foresight to go grocery shopping Thursday night, so it was straight home to The House on the Hill for me.

Of course, I didn’t go right inside to relax and start the weekend.  Instead, I did the responsible thing and shoveled the driveway first.

Once that was done, I took a few pics because I knew I’d want to use them in a blog post this weekend.  I successfully shared them on Twitter, but when I tried to put them on Facebook, they wouldn’t post.

What nonsense was Zuckerberg and the Russian hackers up to now?

I reset the modem because that is the extent of my IT skills.  When I tried to share the photos again, Facebook would not accept them.  I tried to comment on a friend’s status, but it said I could not do so while offline.

That was when my neighbor texted to ask if my cable and internet were out, too.

Maine, blizzard, ice storm, humor, Modern PhilosopherAh ha!  That made sense.  I turned on the TV and was greeted by a message that the channel would be available soon.  I called the cable company and got a message that due to damage to a fiber optic line, phone, cable, and internet service was down.

We had been plunged into the Dark Ages.

My snow day had become an Amish snow day.

My neighbor texted that she was going to work on her DIY kitchen project, and I replied that I’d be fine because I had good books to read and a writing project to keep me busy.

Plus, I could always churn some butter or something…

Turns out, I could only read so many chapters before needing contact with the outside world.  I tried the internet and TV again.  Still living the life of Harrison Ford in Witness.

I decided to take a nap.  That’s right, Modern Philosophers.  Right there on the couch on a Friday afternoon, I curled up and closed my eyes.

When I awakened a half hour later, there were still no TV shows to watch and no social media to tell me what I was missing out on in life.

I wanted to go for a run or a walk to get in some steps, but the snow and ice were falling much harder now, and the roads looked quite perilous.

So I walked laps around the first floor instead.  That will send the step count climbing, but not do much for my excitement level.

I read more.  I tried the TV again.

Maine, blizzard, ice storm, humor, Modern PhilosopherDid I mention earlier that I’m no IT genius?  Well, three hours into my Amish snow day, it dawned on me that if I disconnected from The House on the Hill’s WiFi, I could access the internet through my phone’s data plan.

Yes, Modern Philosophers, I am that slow.

I blame it on the extreme weather conditions, though!

My phone immediately sprang to life with Facebook Messenger and Twitter notifications.  Now I was only semi-Amish, but really missing TV.  After all, I hadn’t watched my recordings of Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers from Thursday night yet, and their monologues are my only source of news.

Finally, at 8:30, more than four hours into my struggle, a friend messaged on Facebook that her cable had just come back.  I sprinted to the TV, turned it on, and college basketball appeared via ESPN.

Maine, blizzard, ice storm, humor, Modern PhilosopherThe curse had been broken!  The Dark Ages had ended!  I had time traveled back to the Modern (Philosopher) Age!

Later, when a friend messaged that she hadn’t been able to order Chinese takeout as planned because no internet meant debit card machines weren’t working, I was thankful that I’d decided to go grocery shopping the night before.

If I had stuck to my routine, and we know I’m a guy who hates change, I would have been at the checkout, unable to pay for my groceries.  An old childhood phobia come to life!

I’m not sure how I did it, but I survived my Amish snow day!

Did this recent storm cause any chaos in your life?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Surviving My Amish Snow Day

  1. First off, your house is beautiful. It always seems like when we most need our 2020 technology, which we take for granted, we are dead in the water when things go south. Have a beautiful wintery weekend.

    • Austin says:

      Thank you. The cable has actually gone out again, but I’m busying myself with writing, reading, and the laundry. I just might survive again! 🙂

  2. beth says:

    I kind of like those days, as long as I’m warm – all good

  3. adamjasonp says:

    The same happened to us. The outage was all over central and southern Maine, affected all data plans and basic cable, and lasted about 5 hours. Nevertheless, we drove through the snowfall and minor ice falling off the trees, and made it home with food and without a scratch.

  4. markbialczak says:

    Our internet was down most of Saturday, Austin. I have satellite tv, though, and I had quickly figured out the data plan thing for my iPad …
    You also hit on one of the reasons I am still a carry-cash guy!

  5. I believe Maine is straight up trying to kill people!

  6. AAristizabal says:

    Sorry about the chaos. At least, you could live like an Amish and start your weekend earlier.

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