Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, Modern Philosophers. I belong to a support group called Why Does Cupid Hate Us?, which is for people who have issues about being single. Not everyone in the group is angry or bitter, but around this time of year there is an increase in the hatred aimed at Cupid.
For some reason, I’ve appointed myself the voice of reason in the group. Maybe I just like keeping things calm, or perhaps I prefer to get on Cupid’s good side so the little guy can hit me with a magic love arrow someday soon.
Whatever my motivation, I refused to allow the mob mentality to take over our last meeting. The group was this close to lighting torches, grabbing pitchforks, and going out in search of the god of love.
And I don’t think they planned to buy him coffee and ask for dating advice.
Don’t get me wrong. I understand that it’s much easier to blame a winged baby with a bow and arrow for your failure at relationships, than it is to accept that you might be the reason that no one wants to date you.
That doesn’t mean that it’s okay ruin Valentine’s Day for everyone else, though, by putting the Katniss Everdeen of Love out of commission this close to February 14.
So how did I get cooler heads to prevail, and call off the manhunt?
What if Cupid is just keeping your best financial interests in mind?
Yes, I know it is depressing to be single on Valentine’s Day, but do you have any idea of the financial savings you enjoy because you are not in a relationship on that holiday?
According to Google, Americans plan to spend an average of $196 celebrating Valentine’s Day. That’s insane even if you’re not on a budget.
Buy yourself a half gallon of ice cream, a bottle of Snapple, and curl up on the couch watching your favorite movie on cable. That will run you about $5.
Total savings for being single on Valentine’s Day? $191.
Thank you, Cupid, for not hitting me with your arrow just before the big day so I can spend two days’ pay on someone I barely know!
So before you start cursing the little guy, or try to shoot him out of the sky with your pellet gun, keep in mind that Cupid just did you and your finances a solid.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers. If the holiday makes you feel lonely or sad, just try to think of it as any other day of the week.
And if that doesn’t work, go to the grocery store on February 15 and buy yourself some deeply discounted Valentine’s Day chocolates. Chocolate can fix most anything…