Easter Bunny Assures Us That It’s Business As Usual

Easter, humor, social distancing, Modern PhilosopherIn a world where everything is changing, events are being canceled, and we are unsure when we will ever be allowed to gather to socialize again, it is nice to know that one important event is going ahead as scheduled, Modern Philosophers.

In a much needed bit of good news, the Easter Bunny today announced that the delivery of Easter Baskets will go on as planned.

“In this challenging time of uncertainty, I wanted to reassure the world that I will be hopping down the Bunny Trail with everyone’s Easter Baskets,” the Easter Bunny announced via Skype from his headquarters on Easter Island.  “When you wake up on Easter Sunday, you will discover that at least one thing in life has not changed.”

The announcement was met with cheers, excitement, and sighs of relief from around the world.  Finally, there is an event on the calendar to look forward to, rather than an ever growing list of cancellations and postponements.

And there’s candy on the way.  Who doesn’t love candy in a time of crisis?

At the White House, President Trump tried to take some of the credit for the Easter Bunny’s news.  “Like I said all along, Easter was my goal for things going back to normal.  We might not be able to open up the country again like I’d hoped, but at least I was able to convince the Easter Bunny to go ahead with his regular routine.  I’ve even sent him some masks, gloves, and gowns to help keep him safe.  No other world leader thought to do that.  Only me.  The greatest leader ever in a time of crisis!”

Easter, humor, social distancing, Modern PhilosopherThe Easter Bunny made no mention of any contact with President Trump or the White House in his announcement.  He did, however, touch on the subject of personal protection equipment for the Easter Basket delivery process.

“I have had many conversations with the CDC and other experts on infectious disease, and I have been assured that COVID 19 cannot be passed to humans from rabbits,” the Easter Bunny assure the world.

“However,” he continued, “in an effort to be as safe and cautious as possible, I will be wearing gloves and a mask, all colored to look like Easter Eggs, during my deliveries.  I will also maintain a distance of at least six feet from any human I might encounter, and I ask that no one waits up to try to meet me or to catch a glimpse of me.  Let’s all be safe and practice proper social distancing this Easter!”

The Easter Bunny went on the add that while each basket will contain the traditional treats of the season, like jellybeans, peeps, chocolate, and peanut butter, there will also be some new additions that are a reflection of the times.

“This year’s baskets will contain helpful items like Purell, sanitary wipes, Lysol, tissues, masks, and gloves,” he informed us excitedly.  “I’m also going to include some books and pocket games to help keep the mind sharp while school is out of session.”

Easter, humor, social distancing, Modern PhilosopherSo it looks like Easter is going to offer the world some hope this year.  One day after President Trump guessed that Easter would be the day that Coronavirus deaths in the United States would hit their peak, the Easter Bunny returned some magic to the holiday.

We could all use some magic right now…

What is your favorite Easter candy?  Do you plan to celebrate Easter as you always do, or have plans changed because of the pandemic?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Easter Bunny Assures Us That It’s Business As Usual

  1. markbialczak says:

    I don’t know exactly know how I’m going to play my part in making sure the bunny has some chocolate for my dear wife Karen while staying put in our house, Austin.

  2. beth says:

    luckily the bunny works wonders

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