Why Did I Shelter In Place Without Ice Cream?

ice cream, hood, humor, Modern PhilosopherI have so much time now to ponder some of the great philosophical questions, Modern Philosophers.  Today seemed like the perfect opportunity to tackle one that’s really been on my mind lately.

Why in the world did I decide to shelter in place without any ice cream in the house?

In my defense, this is a confusing and unprecedented time.  I’ve never had to draw up a grocery list for enough food and supplies to last a month since I’m not supposed to go outside.  I’m sure the next time I have to shop for a pandemic, ice cream with be on the very top of the list.

To be honest, ice cream was on my shopping list.  It was a very long list, though, and as I detailed in the blog post about my trip to the store (My Daredevil Supermarket Adventure), all I cared about was getting in and out of the place as efficiently as possible.

The freezer aisle is in the middle of the store, it’s always very busy, and I was more focused on grabbing main courses, rather than desserts.  In other words, I had to shop with my brain, not with my stomach.

My goal was to buy food that would last longer.  Truth be told, ice cream does not last very long at The House on the Hill.  I couldn’t give up precious freezer space to an item that would have only been there for a few days.

ice cream, food, humor, Modern PhilosopherAnd I really was trying to be healthy.  I knew that being stuck at home, out of work, and hiding out from a killer virus was going to blow my stress levels through the roof.

That would only lead to one thing, well it would lead to many things like panic attacks, nightmares, curling up in the fetal position and crying uncontrollably, but my point was that it would lead to stress eating.

I didn’t want there to be too much unhealthy food in my Pandemic Pantry for when the urge to stress eat hit.  And I knew it would hit repeatedly.

So in the name of my waistline and blood sugar levels, I didn’t buy ice cream.

What I didn’t consider in all that, of course, would be the number of meltdowns I would suffer from constantly craving ice cream and not finding any in the freezer.

I’m still running the projections, but it looks like in the end, I will end up doing more permanent damage to my psyche from not getting ice cream, than I would have done to my health by stress eating ice cream.

Of course, those numbers are not official in anyway.  They are just the confused calculations of a man who’s spent far too much time stuck inside without ice cream.

But I digress.  There were other reasons why I didn’t buy ice cream.

I was definitely concerned with finances.  Since I’ve been furloughed from my job, my inner frugal shopper was released.  I kept telling myself that money spent on ice cream would be better spent on a main course or a household need like toilet paper.

ice cream, food, humor, Modern PhilosopherBetter yet, the money not spent on ice cream could stay in my bank account, and be spent on a staple item the next time I dared venture out of the house.

Another intriguing possibility for why I didn’t buy any ice cream is that I wanted to have it as something to look forward to once this is all over and life returns to (somewhat) normal again.

We all need goals and motivation, right?

Can you just picture the celebration I’ll have once the stay at home order is lifted, and I feel safe enough to go to the grocery store again without putting on a suit of armor?

I think I’ve done enough running and rationing of food while staying in to avoid COVID 19 that I can allow myself one giant ice cream sundae when this ends.

And by giant sundae, I mean taking the lid off of a half gallon on ice cream, adding Reese’s Pieces, hot fudge, and whipped cream, and eating it right out of the container.

You might think my eyes are bigger than my stomach, but something tells me it will be up to the task whenever that day comes.

ice cream, food, humor, Modern PhilosopherI’m glad I took the time to do a deep dive into this great mystery and come up with some answers.

Of course, having answers isn’t the same as having ice cream right now, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

Is there a certain food or item that you really wished you’d stocked up on while you’re sheltering in place?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Why Did I Shelter In Place Without Ice Cream?

  1. lydiaschoch says:

    I hope you get to have that giant ice cream sundae soon.

    I’ve been watching my spending and trying to eat healthier as well. You’re not alone there.

  2. ~M says:

    Yes, I really wish I’d gotten more dill pickle potato chips, and cherry Dr. Pepper. Ice cream sounds so good right now too.

  3. beth says:

    your title really says it all. mine would have been flamin’ hot cheetos.

  4. markbialczak says:

    I am still missing Won Ton soup, pork egg rolls, General Tsao’s chicken and fried rice from a great Chinese takeout joint, Austin. Oh, and after a month-plus without, I’d splurge for a side of barbecued spareribs (bone-in) too.

  5. Ocean Bream says:

    Wow I have also been craving ice cream since lockdown hit. In a giant waffle cone. I hope you manage ice cream very soon! It is the little things!

  6. Lori says:

    It’s taken a month and a few grocery orders, but I think I’ve finally gotten stocked up on everything. Pasta has been the most difficult to find.

  7. Pingback: The week gone by — April 19 – A Silly Place

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s