Unicorn Rainbow Ice Cream Party

be positive, life, humor, Modern PhilosopherToday’s post was going to be a brutally honest rant about how I’ve lost faith in the federal government and my fellow man because of their response to the Coronavirus pandemic, Modern Philosophers.

Luckily, I realized that the world was already drowning in negativity, and I didn’t want to add to the problem.

So, I’ve decided to go completely in the opposite direction.

Please enjoy this ridiculously positive post.  Hurray for positivity!

You are all invited to my virtual Unicorn Rainbow Ice Cream Party!

Unfortunately, we can’t gather together for this righteous shindig because of the current laws about law gatherings and social distancing, but that doesn’t mean the fun has to stop.

‘Cause there ain’t no party like a virtual COVID-19 party!

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen a unicorn.  There are two known herds in Maine, but they reside in the North Woods (about a two high drive from The House on the Hill) and only come out in the Spring.

With the wild weather we’ve had recently (it snowed TWICE in the past week!), the horned horses have been hesitant to make an appearance.  For all we know, they could be social distancing as well.

Unicorns are a wise breed, which explains how they’ve survived this long without ever being captured and sent to a zoo.

rainbows, be positive, life, humor, Modern PhilosopherThere’s never a shortage of rainbows in Maine, though!  If it isn’t snowing, then it’s usually raining, which means the skies are lit up with a little red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet action!

As you know, there’s a pot of gold hidden at the end of every rainbow, so I’m always keen to run off in search of that treasure.  The government can send me all the stimulus checks it wants, but that would never top the financial security I’d have if I could ever get to that pot of gold before the Leprechaun is able to hide it again!

My party is going to have plenty of rainbows, so that means multiple chances for everyone to find that pot of gold.  Assuming, of course, that you forgo the whole virtual aspect of this endeavor, come to Maine, and go off in search of the Leprechaun’s treasure while also practicing proper social distancing.  Keep in mind that you will need to wear a mask since you’d be out in public, as that is the law in Maine.

Even though people constantly fight that fact, it is the current law.

It might even be possible to ride a unicorn to the end of the rainbow, but those beautiful beasts very rarely let anyone hop on for a ride.  Your chances are reduced exponentially if you are from away.  Mainers really have the best and only shot.

Even if you don’t feel like getting in the cardiovascular workout by chasing rainbows, you can just sit back and enjoy their majestic beauty, which definitely beats sprawling out on the couch in the your sweats all day to watch reruns on the TV.

ice cream, be positive, life, humor, Modern PhilosopherAnd it wouldn’t be an awesome party without ice cream!

You could eat so much that you get brain freeze, which would prevent your brain from processing any more stressful or frightening thoughts about the virus, the way our government is handling the crisis, or the ridiculous statements your friends are making about the situation on social media.

There’s nothing ice cream can’t fix, albeit it on an extremely temporary basis, so allow yourself to indulge.  Go back for multiple helpings.  The rainbows will appear brighter and the unicorns will look more mythical once the ice cream lowers your body temperature and slows down the rate at which the blood is flowing through your body.

Now that I think about it, if President Trump threw  a Unicorn Rainbow Ice Cream Party for the entire country, his approval rating would skyrocket and he could finally defeat the Coronavirus once and for all.

Crazy Idea Alert!!!  Maybe I’ll just form the Unicorn Rainbow Ice Cream Party, declare myself the party’s nominee for President, and run in the 2020 election.  My slogan would obviously be: Help America Party Again!

be positive, life, humor, Modern PhilosopherMy hats would have that slogan with a rainbow colored unicorn jumping over an enormous ice cream sundae.  There’s no way I could lose!

So come join me at the party.  There’s so much ice cream, and if no one else joins the festivities, I will eat it all!

RSVP to the Unicorn Rainbow Ice Cream Party in the Comments section…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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13 Responses to Unicorn Rainbow Ice Cream Party

  1. Bill says:

    Honestly, all I needed was the ice cream!

  2. Lori says:

    I’m on! Ordering a tub of rainbow sherbert now! 🌈

  3. grannyK says:

    I will be there!

  4. JT Twissel says:

    I doubt DT would ever throw a rainbow any kind of party. That might supply support for a group that most of his followers hate. But ice cream sounds good right now!

  5. beth says:

    i’m so in!!

  6. markbialczak says:

    If you host, I’m in, Austin.

  7. Pingback: The week gone by — May 17 – A Silly Place

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