I’m not sure what changes I made in my life to fend off the dark clouds, but I knew that they would return eventually.
After all, such storm front are relentless.
Therefore, I was not surprised when I could not bring myself to get out of bed this morning. Christmas is the time of year that most seems to attract the dark clouds, and I suppose it wouldn’t be the Holiday Season if they didn’t make an appearance.
Of course, this morning’s misadventure with my emotions was directly related to the Holiday in question. I woke up ruminating about the one thing that had gone wrong and ruined what had the potential for being my best Christmas in ages.
I was more upset that I’d come so close to breaking my Christmas Curse, than I was that I’d spent the day alone again…naturally.
I’m not sure if you understand how the dark clouds work, but once they gather, they only increase in number, making it nearly impossible to escape their wrath.
And with my overactive mind, I simply made matters worse because I couldn’t stop thinking about what had me so upset.
I was facing an uphill climb, over slippery, rocky terrain, and all that awaited me at the top was dark clouds. It was intimidating and I didn’t think I had any fight in me.
But somehow, I convinced myself that I needed to get out of bed and go for a run. Something about the crisp, Winter air would clear my head. Maybe I could outrun the dark clouds. Perhaps the snow clouds already outside would prevent the dark clouds from following me.
Running is far from my favorite activity, but this morning, it was a godsend.
I bundled up, headed for the river, and did not dare look skyward. If I didn’t see the dark clouds over me, then there was a chance they weren’t there.
I focused on my breathing and setting a solid pace. I let the music from my phone fill my head. I didn’t allow my mind the opportunity to wander back to the topic that had me afraid to crawl out from under the covers this morning.
And I just ran.
I didn’t break any records. I didn’t run any further than usual.
And I even got to chat with the ducks, who seemed extremely pleased that the river was no longer frozen, which meant they could splash around and go for a swim.
Thankfully, when I returned to The House on the Hill, the dark clouds had cleared. Maybe they’ll be back, but it’s comforting to know that my running shoes and I will be prepared for them should they decide to return…