Travel Blog: My Driveway

travel, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherI’m going to come clean, Modern Philosophers, and confess that I’ve always been envious of travel bloggers.

They see the world, their photos are exciting, they eat well on their journeys, and they have the time and money to go on numerous adventures.

As for me, I’m not really a fan of planes, trains, and automobiles.  So that not only limits my ability to be a travel blogger, but it also prevents me from being in any future Steve Martin/John Candy flicks.

But because it’s a new year, I’m eager to step out of my comfort zone and try something I normally wouldn’t.

Welcome to my first ever travel blog post! 

Today, I’m visiting my driveway…

travel, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherRemember, because of my fear of various kinds of travel, I really couldn’t go very far as I was limited to foot travel.

On top of that, as you might be able to tell from the photos if you look closely, we had a snowstorm last night, so getting around wasn’t very easy this morning.

I wanted to postpone my first travel blogger post until I could venture somewhere further from The House on the Hill, but my producers had already pre-sold the advertising for the post, and had really built up expectations among my followers.

As a result, I was forced to move forward with a trip to the driveway.

travel, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherNow don’t get me wrong, my driveway is THE PLACE to visit this time of year, Modern Philosophers.

It’s both trendy and exclusive.  There was no one else at this particular resort during the time I had booked for my vacation.

It’s not that I’m some sort of elitist, or anything like that, but I am a card carrying member of the Introvert Party.  I’m a big fan of having alone time, and I’ve had more than one vacation ruined because I get very shy when strangers are around.

For example, I’ll have my heart set on spending the day at the pool, only to arrive and find it packed with people.  Since I really retreat into my shell at the mere sight of strangers, I end up sequestered in my room reading a book because it’s the one place I know I won’t be bothered.

I can do that at home, so why spend money to travel to do it?

Also, during a pandemic, it’s nice to know that no one else will be around.  Management was able to guarantee that my visit would be COVID-19 free, and that peace of mind was really important in my deciding to spend my time in my driveway.

travel, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherAs for amenities, my driveway had EXCELLENT workout facilities.  Working out and staying in shape is very important to me, so I was thrilled to learn about the driveway’s exclusive Winter Wonderland Workout.

As you can see from this photo, I was provided with a piece of state of the art workout equipment, free of charge.  Since there were no other guests at the resort, I had the workout facility all to myself, which meant I got to work at my pace.

It took me almost an hour to complete my workout, but man oh man was it worth it!  Even now, as I type this post, I can feel the burn in my arms, legs, shoulders, and lower back.

Unfortunately, my driveway did not have a masseuse on staff, but if that’s my only complaint about this adventure, then I am a happy man.

My driveway also offered a relaxed, friendly atmosphere.  On some vacations, I’m literally a stranger in a strange land.  I don’t speak the language.  I don’t know my way around.  I’m not sure what to order off the menu.

In my driveway, though, I felt like I was at home.

travel, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherMy driveway also offered some amazing sightseeing opportunities.  Maine in winter is like something right off an award winning Winter Wonderland postcard.

There was an eerie silence, probably because everyone else was hiding from the driving snowstorm, that made me feel like I was in a Stephen King novel.  Having grown up a huge fan of Mr. King, that was a sweet, little bonus that had not been promised in my driveway’s promotion materials.

Even though I didn’t take advantage of them (I was exhausted after my workout), my driveway also offered adventure packages like sledding, skiing, and trying to drive a car up a steep, snowy incline.  Basically, there’s a little bit of everything, depending on your level of adventure seeking.

In the end, I would definitely recommend my driveway.

travel, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherI would especially recommend my driveway after a snowstorm if you are looking for a workout that will totally challenge you, and leave you feeling sore all over.

So next time it snows, stop by my driveway, I’ll make sure the management leaves out that state of the art piece of workout equipment for you.

Just try to keep quiet.  I’m told the natives don’t like noisy strangers…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Travel Blog: My Driveway

  1. You need to post this review to TripAdvisor. Based on your comments, this place would suit me to a tee. Question: was there a hot water kettle available? The tea/coffee offerings are make-or-break for me.

    Glad you enjoyed your journey!

  2. beth says:

    a great beginning of your new adventures…

  3. Next time I drive to Maine, I’ll stop by and checkout your driveway.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s