Caves Aren’t Just For Neanderthals

Do you ever wonder what inspires my writing, Modern Philosophers?

It’s as simple as an idea pops up in my head.  Mind you, thoughts are perpetually crashing around inside my skull, so it takes a special something for one of them to take root, and grow into something more.

This sort of thing happened last night.

I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, and watching an episode of Schitt’s Creek.  Hanging out with the Rose family is an excellent way to mellow out after a long, stressful day.  That’s a free mental health tip that you can take to the bank.

Anyway, I’m just watching David and Alexis bicker when this pops into my brain:

There once was a boy who wouldn’t behave…

Okay, now why did that particular thought manifest at that given moment?  Clearly, I wasn’t thinking about my childhood because I was an absolute angel.

For further proof, I offer this photo on the left.

Like I said, I was cherubic.

Maybe the thought came from watching David Rose.  He is a bit of a scamp, and I can only imagine what he was like as a child.

Perhaps the line was inspired by all this Dr. Seuss talk lately.  It sort of sounds like an opening line for one of his books, doesn’t it?  Hopefully, not one that gets banned.

There once was a boy who wouldn’t behave…

It also might have been some residual Trump trauma.  There’s been so much on the news lately about what a failure he was as President, that it could have given the line life and made it dance around awkwardly to YMCA in my head.

While it sounded like the opening line of an awkward fairy tale, it also had the rhythm of the first line of a limerick.

I pushed it out of my mind, and gave my full attention to the Roses.

However, on a commercial break, when my brain wasn’t as focused, this slipped out…

So his parents sent him to live in a cave…

Whoa!  That got very dark very quickly. 

Of course, that totally caught my attention.  A kid in a cave is kind of boring, unless he stumbles upon a family of hibernating bears and gets mauled.

But you toss in evil parents who banish him because he’s too difficult to love, and suddenly you are picking at the scab of my lonely, traumatic childhood.

I never know when my childhood demons will awaken from slumber and decide to do a rain dance and damage the delicate mood board that this is my current day life.

With those two lines pairing up to tag team me, I really had no choice but to abandon Schitt’s Creek and call it a night. 

My thinking being that if I could escape to Dream Land then I’d no longer be in control of my thoughts and those lines would lose their power.

Instead, I tossed and turned under the covers while the lines ran laps around my brain.

Then, without even realizing I was doing it, I reached for my phone on the night stand, and constructed this humdinger of a tweet…

There once was a boy who wouldn't behave

So his parents sent him to live in a cave

He loved being alone

And never went home

And a fortune on therapy was saved

— Austin (@Austin_Hodgens) March 12, 2021

I don’t know where those last three lines came from, but they completed the limerick, freed my brain of the curse, and allowed me to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

I suppose my inner introvert with evil stepmother issues had something to do with the finale, but I can’t say for sure.

At least it had a happy ending. Good for that spunky, little cave dweller!

Do you ever have random lines pop into your head, and then turn them into something bigger and better than a weird limerick?