A Man Of Very Few Hats

Have I ever mentioned that I hate change, Modern Philosophers?

That was a joke, of course.  I loathe change.  I fear it.  I hide from it in my basement bunker.

My stepmother also raised me to be frugal.  She never met a penny that she didn’t want to pinch, if you catch my drift.

As a result, I’ve learned to live without and to make due with what I have.  Basically, if something isn’t broke, I don’t trade it in for a shiny, newer version just because everyone else does.  If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?

That last line was one of my stepmother’s classics whenever I’d ask/beg/plead for something that all my friends (well, the kids my age who I wished would be my friend because I was a lonely, nerdy kid) had.

That fear of change plus the frugality gene that I wasn’t born with, but somehow inherited when my Dad remarried, would explain why I rarely buy myself new things.

Today, however, I got all crazy and bought myself a new Yankees hat!

Yankees, change, humor, Modern Philosopher

Can you tell from the picture which one is the new hat?

I posted a photo on social media the other day, and I was, as always, wearing my Yankees hat. A friend commented that my beloved hat was not the right color.

That was when I realized it was time to buy a new one.

You see, my Yankees hat used to be the right color, but it has faded over the years. I got to thinking about it, and realized that I bought the hat on the left when I lived in California.

I’ve lived in Maine for 18 years!

Of course that hat has lost its color. It’s close to 20 years old!

In typical Austin fashion, I never thought to replace the hat. It has served its purpose on a daily basis here in the heart of Red Sox Nation.

But I love the Yankees so much, and if I was going to indulge in the purchase of something shiny and new, why not have it be related to my favorite team?

So I made the plunge today. I went to the mall, which was a whole thing that I really can’t get into right now, and sought out a new hat.

I’m definitely keeping the old one, too. It still works. Maybe it will become my new running hat. Maybe I’ll wear it when I mow the lawn. Maybe I’ll switch to the old one to change up the Yankees’ luck should they ever (bite your tongue!) go on a losing streak.

But it feels awesome to buy something fun for myself. It looks damn good on me. I don’t even need to tell you that I’m wearing it as a write this, do I?

Of course, if I’m going to break protocol and embrace both change and wild spending, you know I’m not going to limit my purchases to a hat.

Modern Philosophers, when I fall off the wagon, I land in the middle of a shopping spree. I also bought myself a MUCH NEEDED jacket. I didn’t have anything proper to wear for the few weeks a year it isn’t snowing or well below freezing in Maine.

And I also bought these…

Brooks, running, humor, Modern Philosopher

New running shoes!

These were long overdue! I normally get a new pair every six months, but because of the pandemic, my desire to avoid people, and my hatred of shopping, I’ve been running in the same pair since just before the pandemic started.

Those Brooks sneakers got me through the crisis, so I decided to go with the same brand this time. Of course, since I have massive size 15 feet, they had to special order them for me, but today they were in and I went to get them.

Yes, Modern Philosophers, I am breaking them in as I type this.

So the man of very few hats has a new hat, new running shoes, and a new jacket. Look out, world, something has gotten into Austin!

Can you buy something new for yourself without giving it a second thought, or were you raised like me to feel guilty merely for wanting to spend your hard earned money on something other than an absolute necessity? Talk to me, folks. I love interacting in the comments section!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to A Man Of Very Few Hats

  1. cbiz50 says:

    I can spend without a thought…

  2. Pingback: The week gone by — May 16 – A Silly Place

  3. markbialczak says:

    Your new hat looks great, Austin. I knew you’d go for the traditional crowned brim. Wow, I am not a fan of the flat-brim style baseball hat.
    I can spring for something I want, or more likely, I need. I started doing my own beard and hair when the pandemic hit with electric clippers and I must have a tough beard. Yesterday I asked my dear wife to order the replacement pair. She’s in charge of our online purchasing.

  4. Love the Brooks! I indulged in two pairs of Adrenaline 21s after lockdown as my previous pair had topped out 1000km and were very ready to retire.

  5. Helen says:

    Thanks for sharing! I love that you’ve cherished and held onto your hat for so long. Despite the fading of the color, it has one special quality that the new one lacks: memories.

    I am a pretty frugal person too and have a hard time buying something without feeling guilty and wondering if I should. I’d rather just keep using things until the very end before I have to shell out money and replace them.

  6. kristianw84 says:

    I feel guilty purchasing things for myself, but I’ve incorporated into a part of my self care. Nothing crazy, mostly coffee mugs, and only once in a while. Lol.

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