It’s never a good thing when my blog’s Board of Directors requests a meeting, Modern Philosophers.
I thought that when I sold the blog, I’d take the money and run, but someone stupidly signed a deal agreeing to a partial payment up front and semi-annual payments along the way to ensure that I kept providing content.
Of course, I’m the person who signed the stupid deal, but let’s not point fingers.
At this meeting, the Board requested that I blog more often. They said they understood that I had numerous other writing projects that prevented me from blogging, and that the whole reason I’d agreed to sell the blog was so that I could take a step back, but they didn’t care.
All they wanted was to make money, and they realized they didn’t make as much when I only posted new content on occasion.
I know I was the only Film major in a room of suits, but shouldn’t the Business majors have thought about that before they made the deal?
Since I just wanted them out of The House on the Hill so I could get on with my life, I promised to blog more often.
Of course, that wasn’t enough for them. They said their research indicated that visits increased when I wrote something humorous or philosophical. So they really hoped my next post could be a funny, thought provoking one.
Greedy bastards. I threw them out before I broke out the Brooklyn accent and really told them what I thought of their “great” ideas.
I intended to ignore the blog this weekend just to teach those miserable bean counters a lesson, but then my Catholic guilt kicked in. I cash their checks and drink the cases of Snapple they send to thank me for my hard work, so I convinced myself the least I could do was write something for them.
But I wasn’t going to like it.
I started a post entitled “Why Is Yard Work Necessary?” because I was all worked up after decimating the bamboo fields that surround The House on the Hill every Spring. I hate bamboo so much, and I don’t understand why it won’t just take the hint and stay away.
But every year it comes back, and there seems to be more than the previous year.
I hadn’t planned to go bamboo hunting this morning, but when I returned from my run, I saw it taunting me from the hill. Something inside me snapped, and I stormed the hill and started ripping bamboo out of the earth with my bare hands.
That was a little stupid because I was wearing my brand new running shoes, but that was just a perfect metaphor for my life. I can’t have anything nice because I always find a way to ruin it.
But whatever anger I had pent up inside me about the Board’s interfering with my blog, got put to good use in those bamboo fields.
I had everything out of the ground in no time, and then carried the bamboo corpses around to the other side of the house. My neighbor saw me, and asked if I’d just been running.
I replied, “Yeah, and I took this bamboo with me, but it couldn’t keep up”. Then I threw the dead bamboo down next to the garbage and walked away.
That probably got him to thinking, and that alone should fulfill the philosophy requirement for this post. Naturally, it made me realize that everything good in life takes hard work. If I want a nice lawn, I’ve got to mow it, weed it, and get rid of the invasive bamboo and maple.
If I want a writing career, I’ve got to not only keep writing, but also face up to the fact that I’m going to have to eventually do the hated bit of trying to market myself either to an agent, manager, or publisher, or tothe public.
If I want a relationship, I have to stop hiding out at The House on the Hill, avoiding the rest of the world. Even worse, I’ve got to make an effort to be outgoing and maybe even nice.
Why do good things require so much work?