I’m really starting to hate The Fourth of July, Modern Philosophers.
It’s not because I don’t like what the holiday represents, or because I don’t feel patriotic. On the contrary, I love what we celebrate on Independence Day.
I will be dressed in red, white, and blue, go to the parade, hang out my flag, grill hot dogs and burgers, enjoy some apple pie, and watch baseball. All very American activities.
I just hate what the holiday has become.
More precisely, I cannot stand that the Fourth of July has become an excuse for people to set off fireworks at all hours in the days leading up to the holiday.
I’m starting to wonder if people think this holiday celebrates the invention of fireworks.
I woke up this morning…let me clarify that…I was rudely awakened this morning by someone setting off fireworks at 3:58.
Who the #$%^ is up at that hour to set off huge explosions in a residential area???
To be honest, I was hoping that it meant the Canadians had finally crossed the border to invade Maine. At least then, I’d know that professionals were behind the explosions, and that they would end in a timely fashion.
No, I haven’t turned into a grumpy old man who demands that the neighborhood kids stay the hell off his lawn. Over the past several years, I’ve noticed that fireworks bother me more with each passing Independence Day.
They genuinely freak me out. The closer and louder the blast, the more I tense up and have what is probably a panic attack.
And I don’t like seeing the cats all panicked by them.
Truth be told, I used to like watching fireworks on the Fourth of July.
I think the change has come because more people are taking the pyrotechnic responsibilities into their own hands. I don’t trust non-professionals, especially those who have been drinking all day, with explosives so close to my home.
Yes, there was a horrible fireworks incident just after I graduated from college, but that didn’t seem to affect how I felt about the holidays. A house on the block behind mine burned down, and the people inside killed in their sleep, when fireworks were shot under their house in the middle of the night.
This reaction to fireworks has been over the last ten years or so. I’m not sure what caused it, but it has made me dread this holiday ever since.
So here’s hoping I make it through the holiday weekend without losing it.
Stay safe, everyone.
Do you have an adverse reaction to Fourth of July fireworks?