Why I Hate This Holiday

I’m really starting to hate The Fourth of July, Modern Philosophers.

It’s not because I don’t like what the holiday represents, or because I don’t feel patriotic.  On the contrary, I love what we celebrate on Independence Day.

I will be dressed in red, white, and blue, go to the parade, hang out my flag, grill hot dogs and burgers, enjoy some apple pie, and watch baseball.  All very American activities.

I just hate what the holiday has become.

Independence Day, Fourth of July, Modern Philosopher

More precisely, I cannot stand that the Fourth of July has become an excuse for people to set off fireworks at all hours in the days leading up to the holiday.

I’m starting to wonder if people think this holiday celebrates the invention of fireworks.

I woke up this morning…let me clarify that…I was rudely awakened this morning by someone setting off fireworks at 3:58.

Who the #$%^ is up at that hour to set off huge explosions in a residential area???

To be honest, I was hoping that it meant the Canadians had finally crossed the border to invade Maine.  At least then, I’d know that professionals were behind the explosions, and that they would end in a timely fashion.

No, I haven’t turned into a grumpy old man who demands that the neighborhood kids stay the hell off his lawn.  Over the past several years, I’ve noticed that fireworks bother me more with each passing Independence Day.

They genuinely freak me out.  The closer and louder the blast, the more I tense up and have what is probably a panic attack.

And I don’t like seeing the cats all panicked by them.

Truth be told, I used to like watching fireworks on the Fourth of July.

I think the change has come because more people are taking the pyrotechnic responsibilities into their own hands.  I don’t trust non-professionals, especially those who have been drinking all day, with explosives so close to my home.

Yes, there was a horrible fireworks incident just after I graduated from college, but that didn’t seem to affect how I felt about the holidays.  A house on the block behind mine burned down, and the people inside killed in their sleep, when fireworks were shot under their house in the middle of the night.

This  reaction to fireworks has been over the last ten years or so.  I’m not sure what caused it, but it has made me dread this holiday ever since. 

So here’s hoping I make it through the holiday weekend without losing it.

Stay safe, everyone.

Do you have an adverse reaction to Fourth of July fireworks?


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Why I Hate This Holiday

  1. Bill says:

    I love fireworks to a child-like degree, but at night, and by professionals.

    • Austin says:

      My town does a fireworks show and while it does make me anxious, it doesn’t affect me like regular joes setting off fireworks in the streets.

      • Bill says:

        And plus … they’re not as good. I’ve seen crews set up their displays, and there’s a lot to it, not something Joe from down the block is going to replicate.

      • Austin says:

        Honestly, it’s all about safety for me. Leave it to the pros…

  2. kristianw84 says:

    I enjoy watching professional fireworks, but the older I get, the less I like dealing with the large crowds of people squeezed in like sardines to see them. Like you, the ones set off by drunken neighbors freak me out. I hope your weekend is panic attack free!

  3. I have always hated fireworks. I have always disliked the effect they have on soldiers who are suffering from PTSD. My friend’s father came home from Vietnam and struggled with fireworks. It was terrible to see and difficult for him to avoid. They are also pollutants (air and land). It’s crazy that we celebrate our independence by feigning sounds that mimic a bombing.

  4. adamjasonp says:

    Yeah, when it’s a neighborhood fire hazard, it’s a problem. I start to think about operator license requirements— these are explosives!

  5. Pingback: The week gone by — July 4 – A Silly Place

  6. markbialczak says:

    I am totally over roadside-purchased fireworks fired off willy-nilly all times of day and night by potential nine-fingered amateurs, Austin. It’s one too-loud boom and serial crackles after the next here, too.

  7. beth says:

    I love real fireworks, (though not the booms as I know they scare children and animals), but it’s been taken over by amateurs who’ve long ago moved on from sparklers and this is where the real danger comes in

  8. The Hook says:

    I don’t… but my dog certainly does.

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