Diary of an Unused COVID Face Mask

Dear Diary,

I don’t understand people.

Why am I sitting here in this box when I should be out there on someone’s face?  They realize there is a pandemic going on, right?

Not only am I simple to use, but I’m also proven to help save lives.

So why exactly am I still in my original packaging?

I get it…I’m not as fun as a Halloween mask.  No one’s going to get candy for wearing me, but they are also far less likely to get the Coronavirus, while also living to see a multitude of Halloweens.

I know I’m not as exciting as a catcher’s mask or a goalie’s mask, but like both of those cool pieces of athletic equipment, I protect the person who wears me.

At least I’m not a ski mask.  Who ever wears those to go skiing?  Everyone knows those masks are worn during bank robberies and other crimes.

I’m just the plain, boring mask that people only used to see when they watched their favorite show set in a hospital or medical office.

mask, COVID, Modern PhilosopherBut now I’m an everyday part of life.  Well, at least I should be. 

I just don’t get why I’ve become such a focal point during a very challenging time.  I mean, people are dying at an alarming rate, but the living ones want to debate whether or not I’m necessary. 

And they choose to carry out this debate in very public forums, more often than not, while not wearing a mask.  Setting a horrible example for very impressionable minds.

Is this real life?  What the hell???

How did I become so politicized?  I’m just a cheap, plain piece of fabric with a loop on each end.  My design is not at all complicated.  I have no agenda, nor am I registered with any political party.

I just want to be a part of the solution.

The Science proves that wearing a mask saves lives.  It really is that simple.

Coronavirus, mask mandate, Modern PhilosopherSo I’m going to ask again, Dear Diary: Why the hell am I still in this box?

Will somebody…anybody…please just wear me?

Some people might want to turn this into the greatest philosophical debate of the twenty-first century, but even I understand that this all comes down to something so simple…

Wear a mask.  Save lives.

Save the conspiracy theories, Machiavellian machinations, and ass kissing for votes for another time when hundreds of thousands of lives aren’t at stake.

Save lives instead.

Use me.  Put me on.


I was created to help battle this pandemic.  Why are some people choosing to fight this epic battle without every weapon available to them?

Maybe Darwin was right, Dear Diary…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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12 Responses to Diary of an Unused COVID Face Mask

  1. Ocean Bream says:

    I always feel so dumbfounded when people scream about freedom when all this is is just a piece of material on their face. I don’t get it. Are they being denied the right to eat and drink and live? IT’S JUST A PIECE OF MATERIAL GODDAMIT. People have WAY too much time on their hands. It’s not like this piece of material is some massive conspiracy to eradicate their lives and livelihood and render them incapable of living in a way that they like. One year, two years, three.. the pandemic will be over like the spanish flu and people will stop wearing masks… I really don’t get it. Everytime. I just laugh to myself in a mixture of mirth and frustration.

  2. davidprosser says:

    I think your mask has abandonment issues. To be fair I can understand why What I can’t get my head round with all these people who don’t believe in Covid, is why not wear the mask for those who do believe. It’s a small enough act of kindness and who knows, maybe the non-existent virus will leave them alone too.

  3. beth says:

    nothing to do with logic

  4. lydiaschoch says:


    A stranger yelled at me on the street the other day because I was wearing a mask. (He wasn’t).

    Some people have no common sense.

  5. markbialczak says:

    I am back to mask-wearing, yes, Austin.

  6. Pingback: The week gone by — Aug. 8 – A Silly Place

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