Sticks and Stones

Holly took in a deep breath of fresh air and smiled.

“I love football weather!” she exclaimed and then took a sip of her coffee.

It was a gorgeous Sunday morning along the river in Maine.  The weather people would certainly agree with Holly that this was, in fact, football weather even though it was technically still summer.

Aaron smiled from the end of the bench that he shared with his best friend, and gave his bottle of Snapple a good shake.

“Ironically, I’d like to talk about something related to baseball,” he quipped.

“I will allow it as long as I get to keep the weather,” she replied with a grin.

“Do you remember how I told you the other day about the old lady who made the comment about my cap as I passed her on my run?” he asked and took a sip of his Snapple.

Holly glanced up at the ever present Yankees hat on his head and nodded.  “Yeah, she said something about your needing to change hats.”

short story, humor, Modern Philosopher“Exactly,” Aaron confirmed.  “I’m a devout Yankees fan, and I hate the Red Sox, but I would never go up to a stranger and make a disparaging comment about anything.”

“That’s your New York upbringing,” Holly pointed out and took another sip of her coffee.

“I’m not sure if you’re teasing, but you are one hundred percent correct,” he acknowledged.  “You learn very early on the mean streets of New York that approaching a stranger for any reason, let alone one where you mock his favorite team, could lead to your getting punched, stabbed, or shot.  And the cops would blame you because it’s an unwritten law that you never say anything to a stranger.”

“Sounds like a charming city,” Holly quipped and shot him a wink.  “So why are you bringing this up again?”

“I was running the other day, and a pack of little old ladies slowly approached on their morning walk,” he explained.  “One of them stopped and said she owed me an apology.”

“Now I don’t recognize her, and I still don’t like to talk to strangers, but I do try to be a little more charming now that I live in Maine.  So I asked her why she thought she owed me one.  And she said she felt bad about what she had said to me about my hat…”

Holly nods in understanding.  “You didn’t recognize her?”

Aaron shakes his head.  “All Red Sox fans look alike to me.”

She laughed and slapped his arm playfully.  “All you Yankees fans are jerks!”

Aaron did not deny the accusation.  Instead, he took another sip of his Snapple.

flash fiction, Maine, Modern Philosopher“Anyway, I told her not to worry about it because I was used to Red Sox fans always saying inappropriate things.  Then I added that they can’t seem to help themselves, and I kept on going with my run.”

Holly laughed so loud that a passerby on the path behind them turned in their direction to see what the fuss was all about.

“You can take the guy out of New York, but you can’t take the jackass out of the guy,” Holly declared with a shake of her head.

“And that comment just proves my point about Red Sox fans always saying inappropriate things!” he countered and stuck out his tongue.

They both smiled and turned their attention to the river.  It really was a gorgeous day.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Sticks and Stones

  1. beth says:

    they have the best chats )

  2. markbialczak says:

    Now that is making the most out of a mixed relationship, Austin. Yankees and Red Sox fans being best friends, yeesh.

  3. Pingback: The week gone by — Sept. 19 – A Silly Place

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