The Ghost of Christmas Cable

“I thought technology was supposed to make our life simpler,” Aaron complained with a heavy sigh.

“That is what we were programmed to believe by our Robot Overlords,” Holly replied.  “Have you been told otherwise?”

She chuckled at her own joke because sometimes she just cracked herself up.

Aaron rolled his eyes and took a sip of his Snapple.

“For some reason, my cable will only play The Disney Channel, and my DVR has vanished,” he explained his previous statement.  “I called the cable company twice, and the best those great minds could determine was that my brand new cable box has malfunctioned.”

They sat on their usual bench overlooking the river.  It was a cold day in Maine, but the previous day’s rain had melted all the snow.  What it left behind was a beautiful view, exponentially better than any image on a television screen.

But that didn’t matter to Aaron when he was pissed off and ready to rant about it.

short story, humor, Modern Philosopher“I had a whole bunch of Christmas specials and movies saved on the DVR, and now they’ll be lost when they replace the box,” he whined.  “I had Love Actually, Bad Santa, and the Christmas Episode of Schitt’s Creek on there.  I’m not sure if they’ll air again before Christmas.”

Holly offered her best sympathetic face. She knew that lost TV shows, ones that her best friend had already seen dozens of times, didn’t amount to much when compared to other problems in the world, but Aaron had a unique way of viewing that world.

Christmas was a difficult time for him, and his coping skills relied heavily on Hugh Grant’s dancing Prime Minister, Billy Bob Thornton’s foul mouthed Santa Claus, and the Rose Family’s similar views on the holiday.

“I’m sure we can figure out a way for you to watch all your Christmas favorites,” Holly assured him because she was the rock responsible for keeping Aaron from sinking to the darkest depths of Christmas gloom.

He just shrugged.  Holly took a long sip of her coffee because her body was chilled by the brisk December winds that seemed to have no effect on Aaron.

“I also had over 20 episodes of Castle saved,” he continued his torrent of doom and gloom.  “I’ve been watching it from the beginning, but I’ve been rationing my episodes lately because Lifetime has put it on hiatus until after the holidays so they can air Christmas movies constantly.”

flash fiction, best friends, Modern Philosopher“One of these days, I’m going to convince you to get Netflix, and you’ll be able to binge any show you want, whenever you want,” she informed him as she flashed a beautiful smile.

“That’s what the Robot Overlords want,” he complained.  “If we’re addicted to streaming services, they can hide their subliminal messages in the feed to enslave us much easier.”

“Is the cable guy coming today?” she asked because she had no reply for his previous comment.

“Yep, and the cable company promised that when he leaves, I’ll have working cable.”

Holly held up her coffee in a symbolic toast to the idea, and then took a mighty gulp.

“If that doesn’t work, you can come over to my place and veg on the couch watching football all afternoon,” she suggested.

He sighed.  “Fine, but that involves leaving my house.  You know how much I hate that.”

Holly raised an eyebrow to that.  “Trust me.  I’m well aware…”

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to The Ghost of Christmas Cable

  1. kristianw84 says:

    I sympathize with Aaron.

    Has the cable been fixed? I hope the movies and specials you had recorded will air again so you get the opportunity to watch them.

    If you have Amazon Prime, I’m pretty sure I can share my copy of Love Actually with you, if you’re interested.

  2. beth says:

    hope your cable is fixed and you get to see love actually!

  3. markbialczak says:

    Glad to read that the great cable caper has been solved by a single visit for Aaron, Austin. Dang technology.

  4. Pingback: The week gone by — Dec. 19 – A Silly Place

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