New Year, Same Crappy World

Aaron sipped his Snapple and stared out at the river.  It was frozen in many places, but where the ice didn’t cover the surface, the water level rose dangerously close to the running path that snaked along the river’s edge.

Holly watched her best friend in her peripheral vision as she drank her coffee.  They sat on their usual bench on the hill that overlooked the river, so they were in no danger from the rising water.  What concerned her at this moment, however, was Aaron’s silence.

There was only so much quiet she could take, so she decided to hurl a verbal grenade that she knew would set off an explosion of rants.

“So how was your New Year’s Eve?” she asked knowing full well the amount of chaos she was about to rain down on their quiet corner of Maine.  “Did you go to a party?  Stay up for the ball drop?  Kiss a stranger at midnight?  Give me all the details.”

flash fiction, best friends, Modern PhilosoperAaron didn’t even turn to face her.  He just opened his mouth, and let it all spill out of him like a tidal wave that refused to be contained.

“Do you think aliens grabbed me in the middle of the night and took over my body?” he asked calmly.  “Because that’s the only way this life form would ever respond in the affirmative to any of those questions.  I know you’re just baiting me, but I’m a hungry fish and your lure is shiny and colorful, so let’s do this.”

Holly grinned, but remained silent so as not to interrupt his flow.

“New Year’s Day is just the Earth’s completing another revolution of the Sun.  Guess what?  Even if you’re not awake at midnight for it to cross the finish line, the planet still finishes its journey and just starts right up on another.  Like Forrest Gump, only without the beard and the weird accent.  Tell me something, Holly, do you throw a wild party every time you walk around your block?  Or does life simply go on because when the same thing happens over and over again, no one cares?”

Holly shrugged and sipped her coffee.

“New Year’s is a holiday created by Big Calendar so they can sell more calendars.  Not that anyone needs a damn calendar.  Every electronic device that we are dependent upon for survival can tell us the date.  But for some reason, everyone buys a new calendar right around January 1, don’t they?  It’s a scam holiday, a non-event, and a waste time.”

Aaron paused for a gulp of Snapple because the rant had left his throat dry.

“And don’t even get me started on those freaks who make New Year’s Resolutions like there’s some magic to saying you’re going to do something on the first day of January.  Here’s a news flash: You can go on a diet any day of the year.  You can start exercising whenever.  Vow to read twelve books in May.  Why wait for December?  Bottom line: You can make promises you have no intention of keeping 365 days a year.  Don’t hold them in until the day you hang up your new shiny calendar.”

New Year's Day, humor, Modern Philosopher“Yeah, I just stayed home, too,” she calmly replied.  “I figured the earlier I went to bed, the less I’d have to deal with 2021.”

“It’s hard to argue with such logic,” he agreed with a smile.

They sat in silence for a moment and looked out at the river.

“What if one January first, the Earth suddenly decided to alter its path, and not continue on its same old orbit around the Sun?” she finally asked.

Aaron finally turned to look at his beautiful friend, and he rolled his eyes at her.

“Settle down, wild woman,” he cautioned.  “You already got one crazy rant out of me this morning.  Let’s not get too greedy.”

She laughed at his response.

He smiled.

They went back to looking at the river while silently enjoying their company.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to New Year, Same Crappy World

  1. kristianw84 says:

    I’ve always found New Year’s Eve to be an overrated holiday. Hooray, we survived another year. Isn’t that what birthdays are for? Do we really need another reminder that the world keeps spinning and nothing ever changes? Once the holidays are over people go right back to being their self-righteous selves and forget to pay any kind of courtesy to the people around them. Ha! Seems you’ve struck a nerve. I’ll hop off my soap box, now. Happy New Year! 😝

  2. beth says:

    never give up!

  3. markbialczak says:

    Happy New Year nevertheless, Austin.

  4. Pingback: The week gone by — Jan. 9 – A Silly Place

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