Losing My Frigidity

I am really starting to hate winter, Modern Philosophers.

And for those smart asses who feel compelled to point out that I never should have moved to Maine if I hated winter, I will point out that I had a much more romanticized view of my new home back when we were considering the move.

At the time, I was married and thought it would be the perfect place for J and I to start a family.  We’d both grown up in big cities, and agreed we wanted the small town vibe for our brood.

If all had gone according to plan, I’d have an army of children to shovel the driveway, chip away at the ice, and to turn piles of snow into Calvin & Hobbes inspired snowmen.

Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherThis winter has been more irritating than most. I have a plethora of anxieties related to the season, and they have been out in full force of late.

Ironically, I’ve conquered my number one anxiety of driving in snow.  Now I’m dealing with fears of the pipes freezing because it’s been insanely frigid, the furnace dying because it’s been overworked to combat the ridiculous temperatures, the driveway becoming unusable because of all the ice storms, and the roof leaking from a large build up of snow.

Before you rush to call me unreasonable, you need to know that everything on that list has happened since I moved to Maine.  Once something like that occurs, it’s forever in my thoughts as something I fear will happen again.

The furnace died on Christmas Eve.  The pipes froze last week.  The other issues happened in previous winters, but that doesn’t mean they won’t happen again this year.

It was -15 degrees when I woke up this morning.  As you can imagine, a dying furnace and freezing pipes were at the top of my anxiety list.  I didn’t sleep well last night, knowing the temperature was going to drop to a point that made Maine colder than Antarctica.

Yes, I took precautions.  I wrapped the pipes under the sink where I believe the problem manifested last week.  I also added insulation behind the pipes, and added that winterized plastic cover to the window above the kitchen sink in hopes of keeping out the wind and cold.  Finally, I left the water running all night as that is supposed to prevent the pipes from freezing.

Of course, none of that helped me to sleep better.  I was in the kitchen at 3:45 to check that the water was still running.  I couldn’t fall back asleep after that, so I eventually fled to the living room couch.  That way, I could listen for the water and the furnace while I binge watched Castle all morning.

The temperature finally rose above zero at 10:45.  So cold.

life, anxiety, Modern PhilosopherDespite clearing the driveway of snow and ice three times on Monday, I still ran into trouble on Tuesday morning.  I made it from the house to the garage with no problem since I had meticulously removed most of the ice the day before.

However, when I got to the garage, I could not open the door because it was frozen closed.  There was much cursing as I stared through the window at my trapped RAV4.  A cooler head finally prevailed, and I entered the garage through the side door.

Once inside, I used the ice chopper to hack away at the ice at the base of the door, and then wedged it under the door to pry it open.

Now I need to add frozen garage door to my ever growing list of winter anxieties.

I hate worrying about so many things.  It makes my life miserable, ruins my sleep, and prevents me from enjoying myself until April.

It’s times like this when I hate being single.  It would be so nice to have someone special in my life who could reassure me that all is going to be well, or at the very least, shoulder some of the stress so I’m not constantly worrying about so much all of the time.

If this post doesn’t serve as the perfect way to meet someone, nothing ever will.  I mean, who doesn’t want to fall in love with a neurotic introvert who fears one of the seasons?

Do you have any anxieties related to winter weather?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Losing My Frigidity

  1. kristianw84 says:

    I’m sorry you struggle with so many winter anxieties. I’ve had some of those same issues happen. Oh, the perks of owning an old house!

    68 days till opening day!!! 🤗

  2. derrycats says:

    I can relate. I’m terrified of driving in the snow, and I’m a pet sitter, which kinda guarantees that I have to do it sometimes. I count the days until April. Hate winter.

  3. beth says:

    I sold my very old house 2 years ago, and left some of that behind, but stuff still happens and it’s never fun. I’m also a commuter, so snowy/icy days are not easy but I always get there. it’s always something –

  4. Pingback: Now, now … have some ice cream – A Silly Place

  5. markbialczak says:

    I have these same winter anxieties, Austin. With my faucet running and a space heater going intermittently in the basement to (hopefully) keep the pipes unfrozen, I now add the fear of the next power and water bills to the list …

  6. Rivergirl says:

    You must be farther north than me, I’m mid coast. We’ve had a few below zero nights and our fair share of ice but overall not so bad. Sad to say a dying furnace and frozen pipes are not unusual here. Maine is definitely not for the faint hearted. One day you’ll look back on this and laugh. Though admittedly not quite yet.
    😊

  7. Ocean Bream says:

    Sounds really rough in Maine, my friend. I thought I loved winter, when I was a sweet innocent lass of 16, fresh out of a desert. Ten years later and I too hate it with a passion. 16 year olds don’t have to go to work in ice cold temps or scrape ice off their cars or deal with moany, crying babies in the freezing cold and layers and layers of clothing. But the cold here in the UK is nothing compared to what you describe. I can only say I hope the anxieties lessen for you, they sound really tough to navigate.

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