Wind Blown

It was a pleasant Sunday morning in Maine, and the best friends were seated on their favorite bench overlooking the river.

“I’ve added a new entry to my Enemies List,” Aaron proclaimed after taking a drink of his Snapple.

Holly sighed and rolled her eyes.  “You shouldn’t be maintaining such a list.  You need to be sending love out into the world.”

Aaron just flat out laughed like that was the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard.

“And while you’re attempting to smother the world with hugs and affection, your enemies are conspiring to plot your downfall!”

Holly took a long sip of her coffee while she reminded herself how much she cared about the idiot seated to her left.

short story, humor, Modern Philosopher“There really is something wrong with you,” she informed him.  “And I’m saying that as someone who loves you.  Who have you added to the list this time?”

“The wind,” he replied.

Holly closed her eyes and asked any available higher power to give her strength.

“You can’t declare an inanimate object to be your enemy,” she countered.

“How is the wind inanimate?” he argued.  “The whole reason it made my Enemies List is because it caused so much disruption on my run yesterday by nearly blowing me into this very river.  And let’s not forget that just a few weeks ago, it blew out my attic window.”

Holly took another sip of coffee and braced herself for the next round of intellectual debate with someone who didn’t want to think logically.

“Fine,” she conceded.  “Then you shouldn’t have non-human enemies!”

Aaron shook his head like he was extremely disappointed in her.

“There is no way in hell that I’m taking wasps, mosquitos, mice, possums, dogs that bark while I’m sleeping, dogs that are overly aggressive when I pass them on the running path, Aliens, and any monster that lurks in the darkness off my list,” he stated like someone who was never going to budge on the subject.  “And if that’s the case, then wind can join the other non-humans on the aforementioned list.”

“You hate snow, cold, ice, and heavy rain, so why not de-clutter the list a little by simply adding weather?” Holly suggested facetiously.

flash fiction, relationships, Modern Philosopher“I’m not sure if you’re truly this naive, or if you’re just vying for inclusion on my Enemies List, but you know damn well that I don’t hate all weather,” he growled.  “I love warm, sunny days, football weather, and a gentle rain.”

“Sometimes, I cannot fathom how we are friends,” she confessed.

“To be honest, I don’t know how you put up with me,” he admitted with a smile.

“Just keep me off your Enemies List, and we should be fine,” she advised and giggled.

“Agreed.  Keep me posted on how putting love out into the world works for you…”

Holly didn’t reply to that.  She simply took a long sip of coffee, and turned her attention to the river.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Wind Blown

  1. kristianw84 says:

    I love this! The banter between them is always fun, but I love how they are similar in so many ways, yet so different in others. They compliment each other in their differences. No wonder they’re best friends!

  2. markbialczak says:

    Yeah, the wind can really blow, Austin.

  3. Pingback: Aging gracefully … at least sometimes: April 10 – A Silly Place

  4. Rivergirl says:

    The wind has been insane lately. I suppose it’s our payback for having such a mild winter….

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