Missing Marriage Much?

Someone was talking to me about a relationship issue the other day.  I wasn’t really listening, but then he put me on the spot by saying, “I bet you don’t miss being married”.

I didn’t like that he simply assumed he knew how I felt about the topic, but I desperately wanted to escape the conversation, so I told him I did not miss it at all.

Of course, I’ve spent too much time over the last couple of days thinking about my answer.

After all, that’s what a Modern Philosopher does.

In retrospect, I’d like to clarify my response.

No, I do not miss being married to J.  Yes, when we first got divorced all those centuries ago, I missed her terribly.  I wanted to be married.  I had no idea how to be single.  We’d met in college and were together for eighteen years.  We had become one unit, and I didn’t remember how to exist on my own.

relationships, humor, Modern PhilosopherYes, from time to time I do miss the idea of being married.

This occurs when I’m lonely, but not every time I’m lonely.  Just sometimes.  I mean, I’ve gotten used to being by myself, but there are occasions when a little company would be nice.

For example, I’m just back from a walk along the river.  As I was fighting to remain upright against the unrelenting Maine wind, I thought it would be nice to have a hand to hold on these walks.

I most often miss being married when I’m stressed.  That’s when I wish there was someone around to lighten the load, to talk me down, to assure me all is going to be well, or to simply listen to me vent.

I’ll frequently wish I was married when I run into money problems.  Nothing beats having a second paycheck to pay those damn bills.

I’ve wished I was married when I had a big decision to make like what to do about a vehicle when Zombie Car finally died, or if it was the right time to invest in new windows for The House on the Hill.

I’ve never been good at making big time decisions, and I’d much rather be a party of two at such times.  Sometimes, it’s just reassuring to have another opinion or someone to back up mine.

divorce, humor, Modern PhilosophersDespite my best efforts, I’m not getting any younger.  From time to time, I have little meltdowns when I think about the future.  I don’t want to be old and alone.  I don’t want to keep spending holidays by myself.  I’d like to hear someone say, “I love you, Austin” once in a while.

I know some of you will say that I don’t need to get married to have all those things I miss.  It’s not like I’m not trying to date.  I’ve simply been horribly unsuccessful.

Anytime I meet someone who intrigues me, she inevitably turns out to be unavailable.  With my well documented social awkwardness, it’s difficult to meet people.

For those of you who’ll suggest that I ask out Holly, you need to realize that Holly isn’t real.  She isn’t a thinly veiled version of a woman in my life.  She is simply a figment of my imagination.

Trust me, if Holly were real, I would have done something to frighten her off by now.

In conclusion, sometime I miss being married.  So if you’re itching to propose, now might be the perfect opportunity…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Love and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Missing Marriage Much?

  1. WebbBlogs says:

    I can relate to this post so much. I have been single for many many years. I am actually quite use to be being alone but there are moments such as the ones you mentioned, where having a spouse will fill some kind of void in my life. I am now 51 and the thought of growing old alone is now starting to be on my mind more often. Anyway sending well wishes your way and hope you find what your looking for, or not looking for lol.

  2. markbialczak says:

    One day your person will enter your life, Austin. It could be tomorrow, next month, next season …

  3. Pingback: Finally: May 1 – A Silly Place

  4. Anthony says:

    At first I was going to reiterate what someone said above, but I realized that would be taking the easy way out. I divorced just shy of my 40th birthday and spent the next eight years alone. I met people but they were a) not interested in me b) interested in me as a friend (at best) c) not available having already been scooped up. I do remember audibly asking the universe to send someone my way for several months (it might have been longer) and then I stopped asking and someone did come into my life. Is this a story I am telling to spread hope? No, not really. It is merely to give you a relatable tale.
    I hope things work out for you. I enjoyed reading your story.

    • Austin says:

      Thanks for sharing, Anthony. Sounds very familiar. Doesn’t it suck when the universe doesn’t answer our requests? Especially when we ask so politely… 🙂

  5. AthenaC says:

    I could use a second husband – taking care of the house, kids, dog, and cat is quite a lot to do for the one husband I have. If you’d like to apply for the position I’d be happy to interview you! 🙂

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