Bad Bestie

“Thanks again for coming over last night to watch Bad Santa.”  The huge smile on Aaron’s face proved that his words were sincere.

It was two Sundays before Christmas, and the best friends were seated on their favorite bench along the river.  It was brutally cold, so they were bundled up against the weather.  Holly sipped her coffee for warmth, while Aaron chugged an ice cold Snapple to prove how oblivious he could be.

“It’s a Christmas tradition.  I’d never miss it!” Holly replied with an even brighter smile.

“Love Actually is on right now, so I’m recording it,” he explained excitedly.  “Can you find time in your busy holiday schedule for must see Christmas movie #2 this week?”

Holly nodded.  “Definitely.  You do realize that two of your four must see Christmas movies star Billy Bob Thornton?  I always forget that he’s in Love Actually.”

short story, Christmas, Modern Philosopher“One could argue his character in Love Actually is even more of a creep than the one in Bad Santa because at least Willie redeems himself at the end of the latter,” he philosophized.

“Agreed,” she nodded.  “You’re not going to split hairs and argue that Billy Bob doesn’t really star in Love Actually?”

He shrugged.  “Nah.  It’s Christmas.  Time to be merry and bright, rather than nitpicky and prickly.”

“Someone’s vying for a spot on Santa’s Nice list,” she chuckled.  “I supposed it’s never too late.”

“For your information, I’m always nice,” he argued.  “I’m cursed by the fact that my naughty moments are simply more memorable.”

They both got a good laugh out of that one.

“You know what my favorite part of watching Bad Santa with you is?” she asked

“That it’s an awesome movie?” he replied without hesitation.

She shook her head.  “It’s watching you watch the movie.  You laugh like a lunatic whenever that kid is on the screen, and it’s kind of adorable to see you enjoying yourself that much.”

Aaron could sense himself blushing, so he raised the Snapple bottle to his lips in an attempt to hide his reddening cheeks from Holly.

“I can’t help it.  He’s so ridiculous with his questions, and his delivery is perfectly deadpan.  The actor is a comic genius.”

Holly studied him for a moment while she sipped her coffee.  “I think there’s another reason why you enjoy that character so much.”

“I suppose you tend you enlighten me,” he quipped like he didn’t really care.

“Based on all the stories you’ve told me about your childhood, I think you see yourself in the kid.”

Aaron did a spit take with his iced tea.  “You think I’m that nerdy little fat kid who couldn’t wipe the snot from his face and walked around with an atomic wedgie?”

Holly grinned mischievously.  “You’ve told me you were a nerdy kid who got bullied and didn’t have many friends.  You asked so many questions that your stepmother would either tell you to look it up yourself, or hit you with one of her all-time favorite quotes…”

She nodded for him to provide it, so he did.

“Children should be seen and not heard,” he mumbled.

Christmas, humor, Modern Philosopher“Plus, like little Thurman, you lost your mother when you were young.  You were also a klutz, socially awkward, and based on some of the pics I’ve seen, had a very odd fashion sense.”

Aaron shook his head and gave her a disapproving look.  “I can’t believe you think I was the kid from Bad Santa.  I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.”

“Please!” she pleaded and slid closer to him on the bench so that she could rest her head on his shoulder.  “Please give me another chance.”

Aaron tried to ignore the goosebumps that now covered every inch of his body as she looked up at him with the saddest puppy dog eyes.

“Maybe I’ll let you watch Love Actually with me,” he relented, “but only if you promise to compare me to Hugh Grant’s character when we’re done.”

She lifted her head off his shoulder and shook it emphatically.  “No can do.  I’ve seen you dance and there’s no way you can pull off the Prime Minister’s moves.”

She giggled.  He tried not to laugh, but eventually caved.

“I’m not Thurman Merman,” he mumbled under his breath.

“You’re right because Thurman Merman didn’t grow up to be my best friend,” she replied and put her head back on his shoulder.

The both smiled and stared out at the water.

What are your must see Christmas movies?  For the record, my other two are It’s A Wonderful Life and Die Hard.  Additionally, I will always watch Elf if I see that it’s on…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Christmas, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Bad Bestie

  1. kristianw84 says:

    I enjoyed this so much!!

    I have a lot of must sees, and picking a top 4 is difficult, but we have the same top 3!

    Must see Christmas movies:
    It’s a Wonderful Life
    Die Hard
    Love Actually
    White Christmas
    A Christmas story
    Holiday Affair
    Shop Around the Corner
    Scrooge (Alastair Sim)

    Christmas Specials:
    A Charlie Brown Christmas
    How The Grinch Stole Christmas
    The Year Without a Santa Claus
    Prep and Landing

    I also love Mickey’s Christmas Carol and The Muppets Christmas Carol!

  2. beth says:

    i love ‘love actually’ and ‘nightmare before christmas’

  3. cbiz50 says:

    It’s a Wonderful Life
    A Christmas Carol
    Love Actually

  4. cbiz50 says:

    Oh and
    White Christmas

  5. markbialczak says:

    All they both really want for Christmas, Austin …

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