The Blackout Before Christmas

Twas the day before Christmas, Santa comes in one day, And the best friends were meeting, Instead of on Sunday…

“What happened last night is all the proof I need that Santa Claus exists,” Aaron declared before chugging half of his Snapple.

It was Christmas Eve and the best friends were seated on their favorite bench next to the river.

Holly’s beautiful face was awash in confusion as she tried to make sense of his statement.

“Do you mean the power outage?  Are you saying that proves Santa’s existence?”

He nodded.  She looked even more confused.

“Look, there isn’t enough coal in all the mines in West Virginia for Santa to properly convey how disappointed he is with our behavior this year,” he began to explain.  “Sure, he could cut back on the number of presents he brings, but that’s only going to piss off people and lead to even worse behavior.  So he decided to use a little Christmas magic to teach everyone a valuable lesson.”

Holly sipped her coffee as her brain tried to make sense of his logic.

“So it was Santa Claus, not the high winds and driving rain, that knocked out the power last night?” she sought clarification.

“Exactly!” he confirmed with an excited smile.  “This is the twenty-first century.  Are you trying to tell me that the most technologically advanced country on the planet can’t figure out how to keep a little wind from knocking out the power and plunging us all into an unexpected Amish Christmas?”

“Trees fall on power lines every day, and tend to do it more frequently when there are wind gusts of seventy-five miles per hour,” she countered.  “A car crashes into a power pole and it sends an entire neighborhood into darkness.  Heck, even a squirrel can wipe out the power grid by getting zapped when running across a line.”

Aaron shook his head emphatically.  “This was the work of a higher power.  Two days before Christmas on a night when the temperatures were about the plummet, Christmas dinners were waiting in the fridge to be prepared, and people needed to fly all over the country to get home to their families.”

“This was definitely Santa Claus sending a message,” he assured her.

Holly shrugged.  “Whatever, Mistletoe.  I think you’re way off, but I’d never want to discourage you from believing in Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.”

“So how did you spend your evening of blackout reflection?” he asked.  “Did you do as Santa intended and ponder how you could be a better person in the new year?”

Holly chuckled. “I’m guaranteed a spot on the Nice List for life simply because I put up with you on a regular basis.  I used the time to wrap my Christmas presents by candlelight.  It was pretty awesome.”

“Just like Santa Claus wanted,” Aaron insisted.  “I spent the night curled up on the couch with a purring kitty.  I tried to nap, but kept drifting off into dreams where spirits wanted to visit me and teach me lessons about how poorly I’m living my life.  So I mostly spent the night staring at the single candle I’d lit and wondering which was going to happen first: would all the food I bought last night spoil in the fridge, or would I freeze to death because it was going to be so cold.”

She took another sip of her coffee before she replied.  “Does that mean Santa Claus’ big plan had absolutely no effect on you?”

Aaron looked at her like she was clueless.  “The exact opposite actually.  Five minutes after I promised Santa, in a rambling monologue, that I would try to be a nicer person and better embrace the Christmas Spirit, the lights popped on and the furnace roared to life.  Christmas was saved!”

“And you were, too, apparently,” she commented with a roll of the eyes.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he slowed her roll.  “It’s going to take many years for this old dog to learn new tricks.  Santa doesn’t expect me to become Buddy the Elf overnight.”

Holly nodded her understanding.  “It goes without saying, that I would pay any amount of money to see you spend an entire day dressed as Buddy the Elf.”

“Santa Claus needs to work harder to get through to you,” he mumbled.

Holly smiled and they both turned their attention to the river.

Merry Christmas!  I want to give a special thank you to the line workers who stayed out in that storm last night to restore the power…