I am a screenwriter currently doing deep undercover work as a mindless stiff at a “real” job.  This blog is my way of getting my deeper thoughts out into the world so that I can clear space for the ideas I need to write my scripts.

Some readers have asked me to expand on this page, specifically asking me why this is called “The Return of the Modern Philosopher.”  When did the Modern Philosopher ever leave?  Is he staying this time?

Alas, I will offer up some more information…”Modern Philosophers” was the name of a screenplay I wrote in my early 20s.  It was a Finalist in some screenwriting competition, and I thought it was the script that was going to jump start my career.  I even published a zine to help publicize the screenplay.  All the articles were written by me or by characters in the script (aka me) except for one written by my buddy Dave.

The zine was fun, but it was too expensive to produce more than that first issue.  I did, however, get it into several comic book stores across the country and managed to sell some copies.  That was a blast.

The script never went anywhere, and looking back at it all these years later, I realize it wasn’t very good.  That makes me happy, though, because it confirms that my writing style has evolved and improved.  Phew!

At this point, I’ve had two screenplays produced.  One movie was released only in the UK.  The other is in some sort of production limbo right now.  I’m going to post the trailers here, though, if you’d like to see what the screenwriting side of my brain can produce.

The first trailer is for The Retirement Party, which is a romantic comedy about a guy who decides to retire from dating after realizing that he can not be with his true love.  That one is based on my life, and that handsome lead actor is playing a thinly veiled version of me.

The second trailer is for A Perfect Life.  Someone else wrote the original script, but I was brought in to do the rewrite, and it was my last draft that was used as the shooting script.

So, as you can see, I’ve made some progress as a screenwriter, but not enough to leave me satisfied.  I’m always happiest when I’m writing, and I plan to never give up on my goal of being able to support myself solely through my writing.

I’m going to update this to say that now I’m a writer for a late night talk show in Maine called The Nite Show With Danny Cashman.  This season, I made my acting debut in a sketch that I also wrote.  Here it is for your viewing pleasure…

Lastly, I’m from New York, but now I live in Maine.  I apologize if my harsh Brooklyn accent slips out from time to time in my posts.

Now enough with the serious nonsense.  Go read the blog and have a good laugh.

Thanks for reading.  Enjoy the Deep Thoughts!

497 Responses to About

  1. Gail says:

    Queens and, yes, I do miss it for many reasons, including sidewalks, flat roads, and friends and neighbors hanging out in the street.

  2. bittygirl51 says:

    Thanks for reading about and “liking” my blog on my three graduates and also my water bug experience! I appreciate the notice. Like what I see here too!

  3. Rebekah says:

    Now I want to see the first movie. The other seems a bit scary. I don’t like things that are scary. I try to avoid them. But I am happy for you. What an achievment. The two trailers next to each other make you look bipolar. Nice and inoccent, then fast and scary. I know you didn’t write the seond one, but still. (I also realize that it is the improper use of the word bipolar)

    • Austin says:

      I rewrote the second one. I took two terribly confusing scripts, and rewrote them, turning in 6 drafts before the first day of shooting. It was my final draft that was the shooting script for the film. Someone else might have written the original story, but the one up on the screen is mine!

      As for The Retirement Party, that is about one of my break ups, so the character in the flick is me. I do love the idea of that. My broken heart was turned into a movie. Take that, heartbreak! 😉

      • Rebekah says:

        Kind of like how people write songs about heartbreak and get famous.

        I think it’s great.

        Can’t wait to see it.

      • Austin says:

        I don’t know if it will ever be released. Too bad.

        The director and I might make another movie together, though, and I’m very excited about that!

      • Rebekah says:

        I don’t get it I thought it was released in England. Or are you talking about the second film?

      • Austin says:

        The thriller was released in the UK. Maybe you can find it on your side of the pond. I have a copy here on DVD, which the director was nice enough to send to me. 🙂

  4. Thom Hickey says:

    Pleased to have found your arresting blog Austin. Looking forward to reading more here and rooting for your career ambitions. Regards from Thom at the immortal jukebox (take a break – give it a spin).

  5. ofopinions says:

    Hi Austin, I wrote a post a while ago mentioning your blog, and it has been featured on Freshly Pressed! Would be lovely if you checked it out!

  6. Hey Austin, my blogging friend! It’s time to pull on your smartest tux! I have nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blog Award! You know that I love your blog. You don’t have to accept this award, but I would love for you to pop over to my blog and come celebrate! There will be imaginary champagne and glitter! Bring Gary, too! http://insidethelifeofmoi.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/my-big-fat-award-ceremony/

  7. Fun…looking forward to peeking around!

  8. orangejade5 says:

    hi Austin. Still getting through all your blogs. I have started Blogging 201 , well in dec. Did you do any of that stuff. I found the photo one kinda helpful. Anyway I was wondering can I sorta steal
    (oops) share your basic ideals . I was thinking of calling my next blog. “Sundays downunder.”
    You have a nice smile .

    • Austin says:

      No, I did not do any of that stuff. I have too many ideas in my head to need writing prompts. 🙂

      Feel free to share the Modern Philosopher ideals…

  9. turgius says:

    Recently found your blog, and must say that I’m enjoying every post. Keep up the good work Sir!

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  11. Sanah Rizvi says:

    Hey! I nominated you for the ‘One Lovely Blog Award’.
    Check it out here: http://dancingtotherain.wordpress.com/2014/12/07/the-one-lovely-blog-award-nomination/

  12. Julia says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog, I look forward to following yours!

  13. Kate Loveton says:

    I really enjoy your blog, Austin.

    I must since it takes a lot for an Orioles fan to support a Yankees fan! (I say that in jest! 🙂 )

  14. Joy says:

    Glad I found your blog – nothing better than a funny New Yawka 🙂 I was born in Queens…or as I usually say “Lunguylund Jewish” – thanks for following! And yes I am a long-suffering Mets fan.

    • Austin says:

      Joy, I’m sorry to hear you are a Mets fan, and it’s not your fault you were born in Queens. 🙂

      Welcome to the blog. Make yourself at home. We’re very nice here!

  15. April says:

    I don’t know if your into awards, but I nominated you for A real neat blog award anyway just because you are so awesome!

  16. chickpiggy says:

    Hello, I have been following your blog and like it very much. I have nominated you for the Versatile blogger award.
    You can check more about it here :

  17. Krissy says:

    I just nominated you! (Yes you!!) for The Daydreamer Award – https://notthefirstnotthelast.wordpress.com/2015/03/09/my-submission-for-the-daydreamer-award/ (all the info is in the attached link- you are a great addition to my reader!! yup:))

  18. can’t wait to see The Retirement Party!! sounds like you’ve written about my life…at least the retiring part 🙂

  19. hooray! can i access it somewhere online?

  20. Yinglan says:

    A screenwriter, sounds like a cool job. Thanks for visiting my site and liking my posts! 🙂

  21. I certainly hope the Royals-Yankee thing doesn’t send you away. You are clever, funny, and fantastic to read. Thank you for stopping by my site yesterday…it led me right to you!
    Have a great week, Austin!

    • Austin says:

      Not at all, my dear. I look forward to bantering with you. I grew up watching the Yankees spank the Royals in the playoffs every year. 😉

  22. Trish says:

    Those movie trailers were great….I really want to see the first one! You did get me thinking….since I’m the worlds most horrific dater if I throw a retirement from dating party do you think people will bring me gifts???
    Also, how do you transition from brooklyn to Maine??? They must think you are so odd up there lol!

  23. Okay, now I want to see more of the first trailer.

  24. Hi Austin, I have nominated you for The Premio Dardos Award! I bet you are quivering with excitement… or perhaps you might be hitting your head against a wall repeating the phrase “Not another award, not another award!” You don’t have to accept this award, but I would love for you to pop over to my blog and come celebrate! There will be imaginary champagne, disco balls and a drumming cat! What more could one want? Hehe. I might even throw in some multi-flavoured icecream! 😀 If you’re interested, click on the link: https://insidethelifeofmoi.wordpress.com/2015/04/29/my-big-fat-award-ceremonystrike-two/

  25. bob says:

    you got me freakin out man

  26. bob says:


  27. onlybadchi says:

    Needless to say, you’re great, so I nominated you for the Free Style Writing Challenge. Totally up to you whether you participate. I look forward to reading what you write if you do! https://onlybadchi.wordpress.com/2015/06/01/free-style-writing-challenge-gingerbread/

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  29. Hello Austin! I don’t know what you’ll do with this, but just stopping by to give you a shout-out as I have enjoyed your writing. In case the pingback didn’t work.Here’s for you and feel free to ignore! 🙂

  30. I have just nominated you for the Creative Blogger Award!

  31. GP Cox says:

    You had a great debut and see a star on Hollywood Blvd in your future! O_o Pleased to meet you Austin, Cher’s block party is going strong!

  32. I nominated you for a Sunshine blogger award… check it out and participate if you wish 🙂 https://iwillnotliveinvain.wordpress.com/2015/09/28/sunshine-blogger-award/

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  34. Gail Kaufman says:

    What happened to your post, “Will Doc Brown Endorse His Evil Twin, Bernie Sanders?” I read it via email and when I clicked Comment, I received: “Apologies, but the page you requested could not be found.” It was a great post!

  35. Pingback: The Sunshine Award? . . . For me? | CJ Andrews

  36. Gail Kaufman says:

    Hi Austin, I just nominated you for a Liebster Award. I love your blog!

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  41. cat9984 says:

    Merry Christmas to you and the kitties!

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