Author Archives: Austin

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.

Smashing Icicles Rejuvenates The Soul

If I were ever to write a Self Help book, Modern Philosophers, it would borrow the title of this blog post. As I discovered after work today, smashing icicles really does rejuvenate the soul. You can simply trust me on … Continue reading

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After Dinner Mints: Conflicting Cravings

It’s been a long time since I wrote an After Dinner Mints post, Modern Philosophers, so I thought tonight was the perfect time to revive that feature. Basically, I really wanted to write something, but I didn’t feel like I … Continue reading

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Based On A Totally Untrue Story

“Thanks again for letting me read the new chapter of your work in progress,” Holly said excitedly from her side of the path as she warmed her hands on her cup of coffee.  “I was just excited to see you … Continue reading

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Restocking My Panic Pantry

Doesn’t the title of this blog post sound like an excellent metaphor for the life of a guy with a plethora of fears and phobias, Modern Philosophers? Can you imagine me figuratively restocking my metaphoric panic pantry ever time something … Continue reading

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Talk My Ear Off, Win My Heart

The other day, someone asked what I was looking for in a relationship, Modern Philosophers. That’s an intriguing question, that I could have spent hours answering, but I had a sense my friend was looking for something cut and dry. … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Enjoy Your Discount Chocolate

It’s February 15th, Modern Philosophers, so I suggest you scramble off to the local grocery store to pick up leftover Valentine’s Day candy at severely discounted prices. Please buy this candy for your own enjoyment.  If you’re buying it for … Continue reading

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Don’t You Be My Valentine!

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Holly yelled enthusiastically from her side of the path. Aaron groaned from his side, and then took a long sip of his Snapple. “Don’t start that crap,” he grumbled. “What do you mean?” she shot back innocently.  … Continue reading

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I Forgot It Was Valentine’s Day. And That’s Great!

It wasn’t until a coworker handed out chocolates in the office yesterday, Modern Philosophers, that I realized it was Valentine’s Day weekend. And I think that’s great. Normally, I’d dwell on the fact that I was single on Valentine’s Day.  … Continue reading

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A New Grip On Reality

Regular readers of this blog might have noticed the vanishing act I pulled on Tuesday morning, Modern Philosophers. I wrote a post Monday night about receiving my second Coronavirus vaccination.  Then I deleted it about twelve hours later. I wanted … Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Not So Super Sunday

Holly waited for Aaron to lower his mask and take a sip of his Snapple before she hit him with her question. “Are you going to watch the Super Bowl?” She knew he was going to give her some sort … Continue reading

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