Author Archives: Austin

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.

The Jedi Lawn Trick

“If you were to wake up tomorrow morning to discover that you had suddenly and mysteriously been blessed with Jedi powers, what’s the first thing you would do?” The Devil asked as he put down the Sunday edition of the … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

50 Days of Fitness

To celebrate Day 50 of my new fitness program, Modern Philosophers, I went for a five mile run to make sure I’d rack up 50 active minutes on my fitness tracker. Yes, I do know how to party like a … Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Go Away! I’m Reading

A couple of weeks ago, Modern Philosophers, I was blogging (whining) about how I didn’t seem to have enough time to accomplish everything I wanted to do over the course of a day. My days have not gotten any longer, … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

It’s Hot, I’m Cool

Walking around Like a bad ass In my Kylo Ren Tee shirt, Sweating in the Ninety degree heat, And being Totally cool With it. Why don’t I care That a heat wave Is scorching Maine And the sun Is relentlessly … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Fat Boy Slimming

Why, yes, I have lost some weight, Modern Philosophers.  Thanks so much for noticing! I’ve been as giddy as a schoolgirl at a One Direction Concert about the recent success of my new fitness program, but I’m also a Glum … Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Surviving Monday

Recent studies show, Modern Philosophers, that Monday is the least favorite day of the week. By “recent studies”, I, of course, mean a quick show of hands by all the interns and blog groupies hanging out at The House on … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

One Hell of a Yankee

“I didn’t miss the ceremony, did I?” The Devil asked anxiously as he rushed into the room carrying a tray of his famous Hellfire Chicken Wings. His impeccably tailored suit was pinstriped today, just like Yankees pinstripes, in honor of … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments