Author Archives: Austin

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.

Jokes Not Ready For Late Night (Holiday Edition)

Christmas is almost here, Modern Philosophers!  Holiday specials are showing up on every channel, and last night, The Nite Show with Danny Cashman aired its Christmas episode. I write monologue jokes for the show, and every taping, I turn in … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Shortest Day of the Year

Happy Winter Solstice, Modern Philosophers! The shortest day of the year is upon us, which means things are only going to look up from here.  We’re also on Day 82 of the 182 Days of Terror, aka Winter in Maine, … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Methodical De-Scrooging Of Austin The Grinch

Santa Claus was telling me the other day, Modern Philosophers, that part of the magic of Christmas is that it means something different to everyone. The big guy tends to get philosophical when the eggnog is flowing, but I had … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Searching For Motivation In The Snow

My love/hate relationship with running has taken on an “I think we should see other people” status recently, Modern Philosophers. Winter is always a difficult time to stay motivated with my running program.  I always used to take winters off, … Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Just Be Thankful

It really is a very simple concept, Modern Philosophers… Just be thankful! It’s almost ridiculous that we need a holiday to remind us to express our gratitude, but I don’t mind being nudged towards a certain emotion as long as … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Sasquatch Thankful For Trump’s Impeachment Hearings

With Thanksgiving so close, Modern Philosophers, people are crawling out of the woodwork, or in this case, hiking out of the North Woods, to share that for which they are thankful. Today, I had an unexpected visitor at The House … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What’s Your Thanksgiving Ratio?

Thanksgiving is so close, Modern Philosophers, that I can totally sense the cold, judgmental glares from the uptight Pilgrim ghosts that haunt these parts. I don’t know about you, but Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that really gets the … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments