Author Archives: Austin

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.

Disappointment Trumps Excitement on President’s Day

I was talking to a coworker today, Modern Philosophers, and asked her how she was enjoying President’s Day. And that’s the first problem right there. I was at work on President’s Day. Remember when President’s Day was a national holiday?  … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Failure to Communicate

“We are a couple of oddballs, are we not?” The Devil asked as a charming smile spread across his handsome face. As always, he was dressed in an impeccably tailored suit that would have earned him a gold medal if … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Stop Giving My Nose Free Refills!

I’ve never been good with science, Modern Philosophers, so I’m going to need a little help with some questions… Where does my nose get all the snot?  How is my body constantly creating more?  How many times do I have … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Show Me The Money, Uncle Sam!

Today was my annual trip to Bangor Public Library to have my taxes done, Modern Philosophers. I like getting as much money back as possible when I file my taxes, which means I want to get them done for free.  … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Flying Solo on Valentine’s Day

I didn’t even realize it was Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers, until after my run when I was scrolling through Facebook. Facebook friends who are in a relationship would never allow the rest of the world to forget Valentine’s Day. How … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Sick and Twisted Humor

I have been sick the last few days, Modern Philosophers. I was going to write that I felt like $%^&, but this is a family friendly blog, and the truth of the matter is that while I have been under … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

No Love For Cupid

“Any plans for Valentine’s Day?” The Devil asked with a charming smile as he reached for the Arts section of the Sunday paper. As always, my weekly guest wore an impeccably tailored suit.  Today, he’d added a red tie and … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments