Author Archives: Austin

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.

Would You Want To Be A Ghost?

Deep Thoughts are always banging around in my head, Modern Philosophers. When I’m running, one such thought tends to rise to the top of the mental pile for me to obsess over as I’m racking up the miles. Today was … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Character Actors

Since I live alone, I’m always scared half to death whenever a voice addresses me at a time when I should be the only one at The House on the Hill. “I was wondering if you had a second to … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Putting My Running Injury In Check

My slow, boring spiral into a life as a couch potato nearly drove me to madness, Modern Philosophers! I’m the first to admit that running isn’t my favorite activity.  However, when I had it taken away from me by my … Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Ben Franklin Contingency

Mark and Ian, a couple of thirtysomething guys, sat across from each other at the table next to the front window of the coffee shop. It was raining pretty hard, and since they both liked the rain, they’d chosen their … Continue reading

Posted in Dating, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

One Foot Equals Two Tons Of Anguish

I’ve always been good with numbers, units of measurement, and conversions, Modern Philosophers.  That’s why I’m so proud to announce that I’ve come up with a new unit and conversion. I’m calling it the Monkey Boy Metric, in honor or … Continue reading

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

A Tear In The Vacation Time/Space Continuum

Science has never been my strong suit, Modern Philosophers, but I’ve always had this theory that time speeds up whenever I am on vacation. I think it has something to do with a tear in the space/time continuum, but don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

When Labor Day Meant Something Different

I don’t know about you, Modern Philosophers, but when I was a kid, I hated Labor Day because it meant it was time to go back to school. Sure, I was a little nerd who got straight A’s, but I … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments