Category Archives: Holidays

2018: A New Hope

I love the philosophy that a new year symbolizes a new start, Modern Philosophers. It gives people hope.  It allows them to believe that they are facing the year with a clean slate, and anything can happen.  I’m all for … Continue reading

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Go Away, 2017

I’m not one To stay up Until midnight To toast The arrival Of the New Year. There is no Special someone Waiting excitedly For a New Year’s kiss. Most likely, I will be Sound asleep When the Earth completes Yet … Continue reading

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The Devil’s Ball Drop

“Have you made any New Year’s resolutions?” The Devil asked as he poured my Snapple into a fancy champagne flute. My New Year’s Eve guest had eschewed his usual impeccably tailored suit for a sharp tuxedo that made him look … Continue reading

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Is Thanksgiving Trying To Kill Me?

Dear Modern Philosophers, I am writing to you because I have an overwhelming sense of foreboding, and if anything happens to me, I want you to be able to tell the authorities who did it. I think Thanksgiving is trying … Continue reading

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We Should Be Thankful We’re All Still Alive

We should be thankful we’re all still alive… I overheard that gem recently while shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, Modern Philosophers. Of course, it piqued my interest, so I had to listen in a little longer to see if these strangers … Continue reading

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Go Stuff Yourself

Thanksgiving time Is back again, And that can only mean One thing… You must give in To the deepest, Darkest, Highest caloric Desires of your belly. Sure, this holiday Is about gratitude. I mean, It’s right there In the name, … Continue reading

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Time Traveling Turkeys

“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and it seems that it would be in turkeys’ best interest to develop a time machine,” I announced to my Sunday guest as I fished a fresh bottle of Snapple out of … Continue reading

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