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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Category Archives: Poetry
Bury My Head In Ice Cream
Being of unsound mind And extremely Stressed body, I hereby declare That I wish To be buried In ice cream. That might not be A typical Last request, But at the moment, It’s exactly What I need. Truth be told, … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged comfort foods, coping with stress, food, Humor, Ice Cream, mental health, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, stress
13 Comments
Go Stuff Yourself
Thanksgiving time Is back again, And that can only mean One thing… You must give in To the deepest, Darkest, Highest caloric Desires of your belly. Sure, this holiday Is about gratitude. I mean, It’s right there In the name, … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Poetry
Tagged food, Happy Thanksgiving, Humor, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, stuffing, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner
5 Comments
American Idle
“Throw me the idol, I’ll throw you The whip..” That empty promise Almost cost Indy His life. Today, it was an idle Of a different spelling That whipped up My stress levels And threw a life Less ordinary Into a … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged car problems, dealing with stress, Humor, Indiana Jones, life, Modern Philosopher, Poetry, Raiders of the Lost Ark, sarcasm, satire
1 Comment
Hot As Hell (Not!)
O how I abhor it, When foolish mortals, A species who wasted The gift of Free Will, And is on the verge Of destroying the planet With which they were gifted, Try to tell me, The Prince of Darkness And … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged heat wave, hell, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Poetry, sarcasm, satire, short story, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, The Devil
9 Comments
The Dentist
O Dentist, My Dentist, The time has come For our semi-annual Get together. Oh how I hate Seeing you, Even though, By all accounts, You seem to be A very nice guy. I’ll never forget That time I ran Into … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged coping skills, fear of dentists, going to the dentist, Humor, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, slice of life
4 Comments
It’s Hot, I’m Cool
Walking around Like a bad ass In my Kylo Ren Tee shirt, Sweating in the Ninety degree heat, And being Totally cool With it. Why don’t I care That a heat wave Is scorching Maine And the sun Is relentlessly … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged dealing with the heat, enjoy life, heat wave, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, perspective, poem, sarcasm, satire, Spring
9 Comments
Confessions of a Rain Walker
Why do you always Look at me So strangely After I tell you I’ve been walking In the rain? I know I’m Incredibly sweet, But that Doesn’t mean I’m made Of sugar, So don’t worry That the raindrops Will cause … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged alone time, coping with stress, Humor, life, loneliness, mental health break, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, walking in the rain
15 Comments
