Category Archives: Poetry

Hot As Hell (Not!)

O how I abhor it, When foolish mortals, A species who wasted The gift of Free Will, And is on the verge Of destroying the planet With which they were gifted, Try to tell me, The Prince of Darkness And … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Dentist

O Dentist, My Dentist, The time has come For our semi-annual Get together. Oh how I hate Seeing you, Even though, By all accounts, You seem to be A very nice guy. I’ll never forget That time I ran Into … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

It’s Hot, I’m Cool

Walking around Like a bad ass In my Kylo Ren Tee shirt, Sweating in the Ninety degree heat, And being Totally cool With it. Why don’t I care That a heat wave Is scorching Maine And the sun Is relentlessly … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Confessions of a Rain Walker

Why do you always Look at me So strangely After I tell you I’ve been walking In the rain? I know I’m Incredibly sweet, But that Doesn’t mean I’m made Of sugar, So don’t worry That the raindrops Will cause … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

The Downpour

Unfortunately, Not every day Can be perfectly baked In eternal sunshine And gently swaddled In unicorn stampedes. Most days, Especially those That fall during The work week, Tend to be Annoyingly riddled With wild wildebeests Hellbent on Rampaging through The … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Kinder, Simpler, Bushier Days

I miss The days, Not so Long ago, When we Could laugh About Jeb Bush. We all knew Jeb Would never Carry on The family business, But it Was fun To watch Him try To find A way To sneak … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Pace Car

On a day Both cold And dreary, I started home From work So weary. Snow had fallen Fast and heavy, Near the end Of the work day. Large, heavy flakes Most unexpected, Now covered Roads already A slushy mess. Still … Continue reading

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A Monday Hater’s Sunday Prayer

O Higher Power, Please do Whatever it is That you do To ensure That this Sunday Lasts forever. We are granted This day of rest To help us Recover from The work week, Put our troubles Behind us, And get … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Never Let Those Bridges Burn

With all The journeys Life leads Us on, We’re bound To circle back To roads Once traveled, That we never Thought We’d see Again. When we Find ourselves Unexpectedly In a place Once so well known, But now Almost Completely … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Love, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Hey, Old Fart!

Hey, Old Fart, They’re adding Another candle To your Birthday cake Tomorrow. You’re really Getting up there In years. Whatever happened To the cute kid In the photo At the start Of this poem? He was So adorable, But I … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments