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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Category Archives: Poetry
Hot As Hell (Not!)
O how I abhor it, When foolish mortals, A species who wasted The gift of Free Will, And is on the verge Of destroying the planet With which they were gifted, Try to tell me, The Prince of Darkness And … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged heat wave, hell, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Poetry, sarcasm, satire, short story, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, The Devil
9 Comments
The Dentist
O Dentist, My Dentist, The time has come For our semi-annual Get together. Oh how I hate Seeing you, Even though, By all accounts, You seem to be A very nice guy. I’ll never forget That time I ran Into … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged coping skills, fear of dentists, going to the dentist, Humor, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, slice of life
4 Comments
It’s Hot, I’m Cool
Walking around Like a bad ass In my Kylo Ren Tee shirt, Sweating in the Ninety degree heat, And being Totally cool With it. Why don’t I care That a heat wave Is scorching Maine And the sun Is relentlessly … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged dealing with the heat, enjoy life, heat wave, Humor, Life in Maine, Modern Philosopher, perspective, poem, sarcasm, satire, Spring
9 Comments
Confessions of a Rain Walker
Why do you always Look at me So strangely After I tell you I’ve been walking In the rain? I know I’m Incredibly sweet, But that Doesn’t mean I’m made Of sugar, So don’t worry That the raindrops Will cause … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged alone time, coping with stress, Humor, life, loneliness, mental health break, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, walking in the rain
15 Comments
The Downpour
Unfortunately, Not every day Can be perfectly baked In eternal sunshine And gently swaddled In unicorn stampedes. Most days, Especially those That fall during The work week, Tend to be Annoyingly riddled With wild wildebeests Hellbent on Rampaging through The … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged changing moods, expressing yourself, Humor, mental health, Modern Philosopher, rain, rambling thoughts, sarcasm, satire, the effect of the day, work sucks
11 Comments
Kinder, Simpler, Bushier Days
I miss The days, Not so Long ago, When we Could laugh About Jeb Bush. We all knew Jeb Would never Carry on The family business, But it Was fun To watch Him try To find A way To sneak … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry, Politics
Tagged Donald Trump, Humor, Jeb Bush, Modern Philosopher, Poetry, Politics, reminiscing about the good old days, Republicans, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars
17 Comments
Pace Car
On a day Both cold And dreary, I started home From work So weary. Snow had fallen Fast and heavy, Near the end Of the work day. Large, heavy flakes Most unexpected, Now covered Roads already A slushy mess. Still … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Poetry
Tagged driving in snow, driving the pace car, guardian angel, Humor, Modern Philosopher, poem, sarcasm, satire, the long commute home, winter in Maine
2 Comments
A Monday Hater’s Sunday Prayer
O Higher Power, Please do Whatever it is That you do To ensure That this Sunday Lasts forever. We are granted This day of rest To help us Recover from The work week, Put our troubles Behind us, And get … Continue reading
Hey, Old Fart!
Hey, Old Fart, They’re adding Another candle To your Birthday cake Tomorrow. You’re really Getting up there In years. Whatever happened To the cute kid In the photo At the start Of this poem? He was So adorable, But I … Continue reading
