Category Archives: Poetry

Bury My Head In Ice Cream

Being of unsound mind And extremely Stressed body, I hereby declare That I wish To be buried In ice cream. That might not be A typical Last request, But at the moment, It’s exactly What I need. Truth be told, … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Go Stuff Yourself

Thanksgiving time Is back again, And that can only mean One thing… You must give in To the deepest, Darkest, Highest caloric Desires of your belly. Sure, this holiday Is about gratitude. I mean, It’s right there In the name, … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

American Idle

“Throw me the idol, I’ll throw you The whip..” That empty promise Almost cost Indy His life. Today, it was an idle Of a different spelling That whipped up My stress levels And threw a life Less ordinary Into a … Continue reading

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Hot As Hell (Not!)

O how I abhor it, When foolish mortals, A species who wasted The gift of Free Will, And is on the verge Of destroying the planet With which they were gifted, Try to tell me, The Prince of Darkness And … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

The Dentist

O Dentist, My Dentist, The time has come For our semi-annual Get together. Oh how I hate Seeing you, Even though, By all accounts, You seem to be A very nice guy. I’ll never forget That time I ran Into … Continue reading

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It’s Hot, I’m Cool

Walking around Like a bad ass In my Kylo Ren Tee shirt, Sweating in the Ninety degree heat, And being Totally cool With it. Why don’t I care That a heat wave Is scorching Maine And the sun Is relentlessly … Continue reading

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Confessions of a Rain Walker

Why do you always Look at me So strangely After I tell you I’ve been walking In the rain? I know I’m Incredibly sweet, But that Doesn’t mean I’m made Of sugar, So don’t worry That the raindrops Will cause … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments