Category Archives: Politics

Can America Have A New President For Its Birthday?

Happy Birthday, America! You don’t look a day over 200.  Congrats on surviving another year.  This last one seemed more challenging than others, but here we are, celebrating your big day. Woo hoo! It wouldn’t be a proper birthday without … Continue reading

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Pentagon Seeking To Weaponize Barbecue Smoke

The Fourth of July is just around the corner, Modern Philosophers, and that means all across this great country, people are firing up their barbecues. The familiar smell of barbecue smoke is in the air, and the Pentagon would like … Continue reading

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Trump Declares National Emergency Over Lack Of White House Snacks

I knew this was going to happen, Modern Philosophers. Once President Trump broke the seal on declaring a National Emergency in order to get his way, I knew it was just a matter of time before he used it again. … Continue reading

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Republicans Oppose Cupid’s Plan For Universal Love

Apparently, President Trump and the Republican Party do not believe that everyone deserves to have a happy Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers. The Republicans today vowed to shoot down Cupid’s proposed plan for Universal Love. According to the plan set forth … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Love, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Trump Blames Democrats For Polar Vortex

President Trump is, as always, hard at work on making us believe he is the smartest man in the country, Modern Philosophers. Today, Trump again put his intelligence on display by blaming Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats for the polar … Continue reading

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Trump Seen Stacking Pink Floyd Albums Along Southern Border

“Mother should I build the wall? Mother should I run for President?” — Donald Trump, age 8 President Trump really wants his border wall, Modern Philosophers, and he’s not going to let those tightwad Democrats keep him from getting it. … Continue reading

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Trump Is Leading Cause Of Depression In Americans

According to a new report, President Trump is now the leading cause of depression in Americans, Modern Philosophers The study, released by the Department Utilizing Statistics and Tables (DUST), revealed that Trump caused depression in more Americans than the next … Continue reading

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