Category Archives: Politics

Sessions Wouldn’t Use Elfin Magic To Stop The Caravan

President Trump’s reason for firing fun size Attorney General Jeff Session is becoming a little clearer, Modern Philosophers. My source inside the White House informs me that the original theory floating around the internet is a complete fabrication. “President Trump … Continue reading

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Zeus Names Trump The Greek God Of Lying

Zeus, having recently become a huge fan of American Politics, today named President Donald Trump the Greek God of Lying. “He is so good at it, that he believes his own lies,” Zeus explained via Skype from Mount Olympus.  “He … Continue reading

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The Devil’s Alaskan Adventure

“Guess who’s back?” The Devil asked excitedly as he strode confidently across the living room.  “I brought wings!” As always, he was well dressed in an impeccably tailored suit.  In each hand, he held a platter overflowing with his famous … Continue reading

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No Collusion

The Devil put down the Sunday paper, straightened his tie, and cleared his throat. As always, he was well dressed in an impeccably tailored suit. At the moment, he also wore an extremely serious expression on his handsome face. “There’s … Continue reading

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How To Tell If Your Date Has A Crush On Putin

The interns keep nagging me about the fact that the blog’s inbox is overflowing with requests for a new dating tips post, Modern Philosophers. I love you guys, but you can be so demanding! Since I’m tired of the freckle … Continue reading

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How I Would Spend My Trump Hush Money

I’ve given it a great deal of Deep Thought, Modern Philosophers, and I am finally ready to answer the question so many of you have asked me. While $130,000 might be just a drop in the bucket to a supposed … Continue reading

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White House Easter Egg Hunt Held In Trump’s Hair

Apparently, the White House doesn’t feel Americans have been challenged enough by having to put up with Donald Trump as their President, Modern Philosophers. Trump’s staffers decided to make the annual White House Easter Egg even more difficult by having … Continue reading

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