Category Archives: Politics

Trump Declares National Emergency Over Lack Of White House Snacks

I knew this was going to happen, Modern Philosophers. Once President Trump broke the seal on declaring a National Emergency in order to get his way, I knew it was just a matter of time before he used it again. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Republicans Oppose Cupid’s Plan For Universal Love

Apparently, President Trump and the Republican Party do not believe that everyone deserves to have a happy Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers. The Republicans today vowed to shoot down Cupid’s proposed plan for Universal Love. According to the plan set forth … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Love, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Trump Blames Democrats For Polar Vortex

President Trump is, as always, hard at work on making us believe he is the smartest man in the country, Modern Philosophers. Today, Trump again put his intelligence on display by blaming Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats for the polar … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Trump Seen Stacking Pink Floyd Albums Along Southern Border

“Mother should I build the wall? Mother should I run for President?” — Donald Trump, age 8 President Trump really wants his border wall, Modern Philosophers, and he’s not going to let those tightwad Democrats keep him from getting it. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Trump Is Leading Cause Of Depression In Americans

According to a new report, President Trump is now the leading cause of depression in Americans, Modern Philosophers The study, released by the Department Utilizing Statistics and Tables (DUST), revealed that Trump caused depression in more Americans than the next … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Trump Taps Burgermeister Meisterburger As His New Chief Of Staff

Despite the rumors that no one wanted the job, President Trump wasted very little time finding a replacement for outgoing Chief of Staff John Kelly, Modern Philosophers. According to a typo-riddled tweet sent in the wee hours of the morning, … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Did The Russians Hack Santa’s Naughty List?

The big news out of the North Pole tonight, Modern Philosophers, is that Russian hackers are suspected of attempting to hack Santa Claus’ Naughty List. Thousands, perhaps even millions of people not originally on the list might have been added … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments