Category Archives: Politics

Trump Seen Stacking Pink Floyd Albums Along Southern Border

“Mother should I build the wall? Mother should I run for President?” — Donald Trump, age 8 President Trump really wants his border wall, Modern Philosophers, and he’s not going to let those tightwad Democrats keep him from getting it. … Continue reading

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Trump Is Leading Cause Of Depression In Americans

According to a new report, President Trump is now the leading cause of depression in Americans, Modern Philosophers The study, released by the Department Utilizing Statistics and Tables (DUST), revealed that Trump caused depression in more Americans than the next … Continue reading

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Trump Taps Burgermeister Meisterburger As His New Chief Of Staff

Despite the rumors that no one wanted the job, President Trump wasted very little time finding a replacement for outgoing Chief of Staff John Kelly, Modern Philosophers. According to a typo-riddled tweet sent in the wee hours of the morning, … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Did The Russians Hack Santa’s Naughty List?

The big news out of the North Pole tonight, Modern Philosophers, is that Russian hackers are suspected of attempting to hack Santa Claus’ Naughty List. Thousands, perhaps even millions of people not originally on the list might have been added … Continue reading

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How Would Santa Claus Wrap An Impeachment?

According to a recent report released by The North Pole Post Office, the number of letters to Santa Claus written by adults has skyrocketed this year, Modern Philosophers. While some deal with requests for fancy cars, expensive jewelry, and the … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Giant Turkey Caravan Headed For US Border

I don’t want to be a fear monger, Modern Philosophers, but I need to warn you that there is another huge caravan headed towards the U.S. border. This one, however, is heading north through Maine on its way to Canada. … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Sessions Wouldn’t Use Elfin Magic To Stop The Caravan

President Trump’s reason for firing fun size Attorney General Jeff Session is becoming a little clearer, Modern Philosophers. My source inside the White House informs me that the original theory floating around the internet is a complete fabrication. “President Trump … Continue reading

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