Tag Archives: Academy Awards

Don’t Be A Felix on Oscar Sunday

Posted on March 12, 2023 by Austin

“So are you excited for the Oscars tonight?” Holly asked before she took a sip of her coffee. It was Academy Awards Sunday and the best friends were seated on their favorite bench, which gave them an excellent view of … Continue reading →

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Investing In The Oscars

Posted on March 4, 2018 by Austin

The Devil appeared at my front door in an impeccably tailored tuxedo.  He looked like he’d just stepped off the cover of a fashion magazine. Meanwhile, I was schlepping around in ratty sweatpants, my Nite Show fleece, and a Yankees … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

The Statue of the Damned

Posted on February 28, 2016 by Austin

“You know what I like most about the Oscars?” The Devil asked as he passed me the platter of his Hellfire Wings. “Checking to make sure that you are better dressed than any of the men in attendance?” I quipped … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Oscars’ Alarming Lack Of Star Wars Diversity

Posted on February 28, 2016 by Austin

The Academy Awards are tonight, Modern Philosophers, and I really don’t care. As a screenwriter, NYU Film School graduate, and card carrying Film Nerd, the Oscars are supposed to be my celluloid version of the Super Bowl. By now, I … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

My Top 5 Alternate Oscar Dates (Male)

Posted on January 17, 2015 by Austin

In last night’s Think Tank post, I challenged you to decide which movie character you would choose to be your guest at this year’s Academy Awards ceremony. I mentioned that it was so difficult for me to narrow it down … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 35 Comments

What Are You Wearing?

Posted on March 2, 2014 by Austin

Tell me, Oscar, What are You wearing? Everyone Is so obsessed With fashion At the Academy Awards. The arrivals Are hounded From the moment They step Out of Their limos And onto The red carpet. What are You wearing? Lets … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Doc Brown To Receive Honorary Oscar For Inventing Time Travel

Posted on March 2, 2014 by Austin

I’ve been keeping a secret, Modern Philosophers, and I’ve finally gotten the go ahead to share it! My good friend and mentor, Dr. Emmett “Doc” Brown, will be receiving an honorary Oscar at tonight’s Academy Awards Ceremony.  And I get … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

I Advise You To Thank Your Significant Other

Posted on March 2, 2014 by Austin

Dear Modern Philosopher, I am having my assistant write this letter because I am incredibly nervous and don’t have anyone out here I can turn to for help.  Hollywood isn’t made up of friends and confidantes…it’s just coworkers, people you … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Maine’s Zombies Unhappy With Lack Of Zombie Academy Awards Nominees

Posted on March 1, 2014 by Austin

I think I’m suffering from a n actual fever in addition to Oscar Fever, Modern Philosophers, so that’s probably why I sent the interns out on such an odd assignment. It also explains why they were in such a rush … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Three Chairs On A Porch: Two Oscars And An Oscars Fanatic

Posted on March 1, 2014 by Austin

Welcome to a very special Oscar Edition of “Three Chairs on a Porch”, Modern Philosophers! I’ve had to halt production on everyone’s favorite talk show set on a front porch because this Winter has been much too cold for me … Continue reading →

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