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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: barbecue
What’s Your All-American Holiday Menu?
Food is an important part of American culture, Modern Philosophers. If you don’t believe me, believe the numbers. In a recent survey of all adults living at The House on the Hill, 100% responded that food was Very Important. Respondents … Continue reading →
Posted in Humor
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Tagged barbecue, food, holiday food, Humor, Memorial Day, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire
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5 Comments
Pentagon Seeking To Weaponize Barbecue Smoke
The Fourth of July is just around the corner, Modern Philosophers, and that means all across this great country, people are firing up their barbecues. The familiar smell of barbecue smoke is in the air, and the Pentagon would like … Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Politics
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Tagged barbecue, foreign policy, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Pentagon, sarcasm, satire, Trump, US Military, warm
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2 Comments
Labor Pains
I was a little delirious from pushing myself so hard on my morning run, but I was fairly certain that when I returned to The House on the Hill, two of the ugliest demons I had ever seen were mowing … Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Writing
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Tagged barbecue, Humor, Labor Day, Modern Philosopher, Notre Dame, Relationships, running, sarcasm, satire, short story, The Devil
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11 Comments
Pig Out Like A Patriot
When our forefathers were drawing up the documents to govern this great nation, Modern Philosophers, they knew there was no need to list the right to party hearty when it was time to celebrate a momentous occasion. As Americans, that … Continue reading →
Posted in Holidays, Humor
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Tagged apple pie, barbecue, food, Fourth of July, Humor, Independence Day, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Revlutionary War, sarcasm, satire
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12 Comments
Bloodsuckers For Trump
Independence Day is just around the corner, Modern Philosophers, so we’re having a big barbecue at work. I don’t know anyone who enjoys a thick, juicy, very rare hamburger more than my friend Ana. Since I hadn’t seen my favorite … Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Politics
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Tagged barbecue, Donald Trump, Fourth of July, hamburgers, Humor, Independence Day, Modern Philosopher, sarcasm, satire, short story, Vampires
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How To Plan A Dangerous, But Delicious Barbecue
I’m always happy to take requests, Modern Philosophers, and that is what I’m doing with today’s post. The interns read every piece of fan mail that the post office delivers to The House on the Hill, and they tell me … Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
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Tagged advice, barbecue, food, grilling, Humor, life hacks, Modern Philosopher, party planning, Sarcasm, satire, work
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15 Comments
Does This Food Make Me Look Fat???
Never give a fistful of cash to a stressed guy, and then send him off all alone to buy food for a barbecue, Modern Philosophers. Those are my Deep Thoughts for today, and you can do with them what you … Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
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Tagged barbecue, food, goodbye Summer, hamburgers, hot dogs, Humor, life, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, work
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24 Comments
That Time I Died A Comic Book Death
Facebook was kind enough to remind me, Modern Philosophers, that four years ago today, I died a semi-heroic comic book death. As you can see from the photo on the left, which Zuckerberg’s minions told me I posted four years … Continue reading →
Posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy
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Tagged barbecue, Batgirl, Comic Books, Humor, life, Love, Modern Philosopher, Riddler, Sarcasm, satire, Superheroes
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14 Comments
Would You Like Your Burger Medium Soaked Or Well Drenched?
It’s Barbecue Thursday, Modern Philosophers. It wouldn’t be Summer in Maine if the grills weren’t lit, and burgers and hot dogs weren’t being prepared for the hungry masses. So, we’re having a giant barbecue at work today to do our … Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
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Tagged barbecue, burgers, hot dogs, Humor, lightning, Modern Philosopher, rain, Sarcasm, satire, work humor
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22 Comments
As Maine Grills Heat Up, So Does Mayor McCheese’s Gubernatorial Campaign
Spring has definitely sprung in Maine, Modern Philosophers! I know this because I can smell the delicious scent of barbecued meat wafting through the neighborhood. No wonder my stomach is always rumbling! The sun has returned to my frostbitten state, … Continue reading →
Posted in Humor, Philosophy
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Tagged barbecue, burgers, campaign, food, governor, Humor, Mayor McCheese, Modern Philosopher, Politics, Sarcasm, satire, Zeus
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18 Comments