Tag Archives: Blizzard

Linus Strangled With His Blanket; All Mainers Are Suspects

Linus, the beloved young cartoon character who enjoyed giving grand speeches, believed in the Great Pumpkin, and was never seen without his security blanket, was found murdered today, Modern Philosophers. He was strangled by the very blanket that he thought … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Post Traumatic Snow Disorder

I spent five years working at a mental hospital, Modern Philosophers, so I feel comfortable diagnosing myself with PTSD… Post Traumatic Snow Disorder. I was up at 5:30 this morning, which is about an hour and a half earlier than … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 49 Comments

Ferris Bueller I Am Not

Ferris Bueller knew how to spend a day off, Modern Philosophers, while I clearly do not. Rather than spending my Snow Day at a Cubs game, rocking out on a parade float, or impersonating the Sausage King of Chicago, I … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Round 2: Modern Philosopher vs Juno

I watched the News at Noon, Modern Philosophers, and Stormy McBlizzardton, Maine’s top meteorologist, stated that the most intense band of snow had finally moved north of Bangor. So, I grabbed my shovel and went back outside for Round 2 … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Reporting To You Live From The Heart Of Juno

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog programming to bring you a LIVE weather report from the heart of Winter Storm Juno… Yes, Modern Philosophers, I have dared to go out into the heart of this blizzard to bring you live … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Juno 2: Blizzard Boogaloo In Select Theaters Now

The sequel to Juno, the indie film darling starring Ellen Page and Michael Cera, and winner of the Best Original Screenplay Oscar, has finally arrived in Maine. Juno 2: Blizzard Boogaloo, written and directed by Snow Miser, has received an … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Go To Hell?

“Do you want to go to Hell?” “Excuse me?” I asked as I looked up from my book.  It wasn’t that my hearing was bad.  In fact, it was above average.  It was just that the question had come from … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

The Much Calmer Storm Before The Storm

According to The Weather Channel, Modern Philosophers, Snow Miser made a donation of five inches of snow overnight. That’s a mere drop in the bucket compared to what is expected on Tuesday, however.  Every time I check the weather report, … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

I Advise You To Take An Adult Snow Day

Dear Modern Philosopher, Like you, I like in New England, and I am gearing up for this Nor’easter the meteorologists are predicting for Tuesday and Wednesday. I’ve lived here my whole life, so blizzards with huge accumulations are nothing new.  … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Okay, I Will Admit That Snow Can Look Nice

I am stuffed after a delicious Thanksgiving Feast, Modern Philosophers. Before I pass out on the couch in a food coma (don’t worry, I remembered to lock the windows and doors in the name of Zombie safety!), I wanted to … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments