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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Broken Heart
I Advise You To Be A Shark
This week’s question was posed to me over the phone by a friend. At her request, I have taken the gist of our conversation and turned it into a letter that I could reply to on the blog… Dear Modern … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged advice, Broken Heart, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, pep talk, Sarcasm, satire, sharks
8 Comments
I Advise You To Find A Very Large Umbrella
Dear Modern Philosopher, What do you do when the dark clouds won’t go away? Drowning in Darkness Dear Drowning, As you know, I have often been trailed by the dark clouds, but I always manage to give them the … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged advice, Broken Heart, depression, hope, Humor, Modern Philosopher, sadness, Sarcasm, satire
32 Comments
Is It My Destiny To Be The King Of Pain?
It’s funny how a day can turn on you so quickly, Modern Philosophers. I got up early yesterday to go for my run. The very first song to play on my MP3 player was “King of Pain” by The Police. … Continue reading
Posted in Fitness, Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged Broken Heart, Dune, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, running, Sarcasm, satire, The Police
51 Comments
Love Me, Not My Shark Bite!
When you kiss me, You always touch My shark bite. You stare at it, And say It drives You wild. You pursued me, Much like That Great White Did across the Atlantic. Now that You’ve caught me, Will you Try … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry
Tagged Broken Heart, Humor, hurt, Modern Philosopher, poem, Romance, Sarcasm, satire, shark attack, shark bite, sharks, writing
34 Comments
Jump Start Your Brain: Birthday Cake
Happy Saturday, Modern Philosophers. Hope your morning has gotten off to a better start than mine, as my day has been rather sad and tear filled. It’s never good to cry in a toga because the thing is a giant … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged birthday cake, birthday wishes, birthdays, Broken Heart, Deep Thoughts, Humor, jump start, missing you, Modern Philosopher, satire
14 Comments
Bitter Couple Arrested In Plot To Murder Cupid
Maine State Police today arrested a Hermon couple, perhaps it’s better to call them a duo, in a murder for hire plot in which Cupid was the intended target. Bitter after an acrimonious divorce that dragged out for months and … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged Broken Heart, Cupid, divorce, Humor, Modern Philosopher, murder, murder for hire, Sarcasm, satire, Trolls
37 Comments
Store Loses Broken Heart Brought In For Repair
A Brewer man, who asked to remain anonymous, dropped off his broken heart for repair at a local shop (which shall remain nameless because they threatened to sue me if I mentioned the name), and when he returned to pick … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged break ups, Broken Heart, dating, Humor, irony, Love, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, satire, Valentines' Day
35 Comments