Tag Archives: candy

What’s Your Favorite Halloween Candy?

Posted on October 24, 2020 by Austin

The calendar clearly states that Halloween is quickly approaching, Modern Philosophers, but I just don’t feel the Halloween Season vibe like I normally do. This blog usually revels in the holiday with a month’s worth of posts about The Pumpkin … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , | 9 Comments

What’s The Deal With Candy Canes?

Posted on December 7, 2018 by Austin

Seriously, though, Modern Philosophers, what’s the deal with candy canes? A friend and I were talking about acceptable stocking stuffers, and she suggested those oddly shaped red and white sticks that magically appear this time of year. Not in my … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Halloween Candy Is Bad For You…Deal With It!

Posted on October 27, 2015 by Austin

I’m tired of hearing that Halloween candy is bad for me, Modern Philosophers. You know what else is bad for me?  Getting out of bed.  Breathing.  Eating pretty much any food that’s not green and tasteless.  Listening to the incessant … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

I Advise You That Candy Has No Religious Affiliation

Posted on April 5, 2015 by Austin

Dear Modern Philosopher, My parents raised me as an Atheist, so while today might be Easter Sunday to you, it is simply Sunday, April 5 to me. I’m not looking to debate religion, or to blame my parents for raising … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

My Top 5 Things About Easter

Posted on April 4, 2015 by Austin

Happy Easter Eve, Modern Philosophers! Some of you religious scholars might refer to it as Holy Saturday, but at The House on the Hill, where things are so much more laid back, it’s simply Easter Eve. It’s been a while … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Is “Big Candy” Blocking The Sale Of Zero Calorie Valentine’s Chocolate?

Posted on February 9, 2015 by Austin

Is Big Candy blocking the sale of a revolutionary, new zero calorie chocolate less than a week before Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers? According to an anonymous tipster, who called The House on the Hill after reading Saturday’s investigative report on … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Friday Morning Halloween Candy Club

Posted on October 31, 2014 by Austin

Happy Halloween from The Haunted House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers! It’s Friday and the coolest holiday known to man and Otherworldly Beings.  Today, you can pretend you are anyone you want to be, and finally ignore that lifelong ban … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Maine’s Enchanted Halloween Candy Is Actually Good For You!

Posted on October 22, 2014 by Austin

The big announcement on Day 22 of the Maine Halloween Season Festival was that the Halloween candy revelers have been eating all month is actually good for them! That’s right, Modern Philosophers, not only is the candy that’s been passed … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“Treat” Widely Outpacing “Trick” In Early Halloween Polling

Posted on October 14, 2014 by Austin

The Department Utilizing Statistics & Tables (DUST) released the results of some of its early Halloween polling today, Modern Philosophers. 73% of those polled, answered that they would prefer to receive “treats” over “tricks” this Halloween. When the poll was … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Milford Man To Subsist On Halloween Candy And Pumpkin Beer Until Halloween

Posted on October 5, 2014 by Austin

As I’ve mentioned on numerous occasions, Modern Philosophers, Mainers take the Halloween Season very seriously. Thad Boston, of Milford, has come up with his own special way to celebrate the month leasing up to Halloween. “Could you toss me a … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments