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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: CDC
CDC Offers Free Longer Life Expectancy To Anyone Who Gets COVID Vaccine
According to recent research, there is still a large percentage of Americans who refuse to get vaccinated against the Coronavirus, Modern Philosophers. While their reasons for not getting the shot may vary, they are united in the being the reason … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged CDC, coronavirus, Covid 19, health, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, vaccine
4 Comments
Monologue Rejects For A CDC Rock Star
We all have an inner fanboy or fangirl that’s just dying to get out and meet that one person we think of as a total rock star, Modern Philosophers. It might be one of the few things that all humans … Continue reading
Posted in Humor
Tagged CDC, Danny Cashman, Dr Nirav Shah, Humor, Modern Philosopher, monologue jokes, rejected jokes, Sarcasm, satire, The Nite Show
8 Comments
CDC Names “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” Its Official Holiday Song
In an attempt to make their announcements sound less like harbingers of impending doom, the CDC today shared that it has selected an official song for the 2020 Holiday Season, Modern Philosophers. “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” will have the … Continue reading
Posted in Christmas, Humor
Tagged CDC, Christmas, Christmas Carols, coronavirus, Dr Fauci, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, social distancing
9 Comments
CDC Adds Sunday Joyride to Approved Coronavirus Treatments
Modern Philosophers, are you tired of waiting around for a Coronavirus vaccine? Are you sick of wearing a mask? Are you done letting the Coronavirus dominate you? Well, there might finally be some good news for you. According to the … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Politics
Tagged CDC, coronavirus, Covid 19, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Politics, Sarcasm, satire, Trump
6 Comments
North Pole Denies Closings Are Due To Ebola Scare
Despite what you might have heard, Modern Philosophers, there is no Ebola scare at The North Pole. While it is true that The North Pole Police Department has closed all entry points to Santa’s home, the Ebola rumors rocketing around … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy
Tagged CDC, Christmas, ebola, Elves, health, Humor, Modern Philosopher, North Pole, Santa Claus, Sarcasm, satire
20 Comments
The Return of the Modern Philosopher 