Tag Archives: CDC

CDC Offers Free Longer Life Expectancy To Anyone Who Gets COVID Vaccine

According to recent research, there is still a large percentage of Americans who refuse to get vaccinated against the Coronavirus, Modern Philosophers. While their reasons for not getting the shot may vary, they are united in the being the reason … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Monologue Rejects For A CDC Rock Star

We all have an inner fanboy or fangirl that’s just dying to get out and meet that one person we think of as a total rock star, Modern Philosophers. It might be one of the few things that all humans … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

CDC Names “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” Its Official Holiday Song

In an attempt to make their announcements sound less like harbingers of impending doom, the CDC today shared that it has selected an official song for the 2020 Holiday Season, Modern Philosophers. “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” will have the … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

CDC Adds Sunday Joyride to Approved Coronavirus Treatments

Modern Philosophers, are you tired of waiting around for a Coronavirus vaccine? Are you sick of wearing a mask? Are you done letting the Coronavirus dominate you? Well, there might finally be some good news for you. According to the … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

North Pole Denies Closings Are Due To Ebola Scare

Despite what you might have heard, Modern Philosophers, there is no Ebola scare at The North Pole. While it is true that The North Pole Police Department has closed all entry points to Santa’s home, the Ebola rumors rocketing around … Continue reading

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments