Tag Archives: coal

Trump Has Made Me A Coal Mining Millionaire!

Posted on December 23, 2015 by Austin

I have a confession to make, Modern Philosophers. It’s almost Christmas, and I don’t want to keep lying to you, and risk ending up on Santa’s Naughty List. You see, thing is… I don’t hate Donald Trump as much as … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

I’m On The Naughty Runners List

Posted on December 18, 2013 by Austin

I’m definitely going to get coal in my running sneakers this Christmas, Modern Philosophers. As you can tell by the lack of any running posts, it’s been a while since I put on my running toga, laced up my sneakers, … Continue reading →

Posted in Fitness, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Scared Straight Santa Style: Naughty Kids Forced To Work At Coal Mine

Posted on December 6, 2013 by Austin

Santa Claus brought heaping lumps of tough love as early Christmas gifts to several boys and girls on his Naughty List. About two dozens children, all very highly ranked on Santa’s infamous list, were whisked away from their homes this … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Victoria’s Secret Announces “Coal for Panties” Exchange for Naughty Girls

Posted on August 30, 2013 by Austin

Originally posted on The Return of the Modern Philosopher:
Have you been a Naughty girl this year?  If you can prove it, Victoria’s Secret has a special deal for you.  On December 26th, anyone over the age of 18 who…

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West Virginia Coal Miners Owe Naughty Kids for Record Overtime Pay

Posted on December 12, 2012 by Austin

Many children in West Virginia are going to have an amazing Christmas this year, and they owe it all to their naughty peers.  Governor Earl Ray Tomblin announced today that coal mining in his state did record business this year.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments