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© Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher, 2012-2023. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Austin Hodgens and The Return of the Modern Philosopher with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Tag Archives: Cupid
Maybe Cupid Cares About Your Budget
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, Modern Philosophers. I belong to a support group called Why Does Cupid Hate Us?, which is for people who have issues about being single. Not everyone in the group is angry or bitter, but around … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Humor, Love
Tagged Cupid, dating, finances, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, money, sarcasm, satire, single life, Valentines' Day
5 Comments
Republicans Oppose Cupid’s Plan For Universal Love
Apparently, President Trump and the Republican Party do not believe that everyone deserves to have a happy Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers. The Republicans today vowed to shoot down Cupid’s proposed plan for Universal Love. According to the plan set forth … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Politics
Tagged Bernie Sanders, Cupid, Humor, Love, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, socialism, Trump, Valentines' Day
18 Comments
No Love For Cupid
“Any plans for Valentine’s Day?” The Devil asked with a charming smile as he reached for the Arts section of the Sunday paper. As always, my weekly guest wore an impeccably tailored suit. Today, he’d added a red tie and … Continue reading
Who’s Your Holiday Hero?
It’s Friday night, Modern Philosophers, which means we survived another week! This one was long and exhausting. Not only did I work both jobs, with The Nite Show taping on Wednesday night, but I also dove headfirst into a new … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor
Tagged Baby New Year, Cupid, Easter Bunny, Friday Night Think Tank, Humor, Modern Philosopher, Santa Claus, sarcasm, satire, St Patrick, Uncle Sam
13 Comments
Trump Replaces Cupid With Steve Bannon
If you were worried that President Trump had forgotten about Valentine’s Day, you can finally put your minds at ease, Modern Philosophers. With yet another Executive Order, President Trump has relieved Cupid of his annual duties and put Creepy Guy … Continue reading
Posted in Humor, Love, Politics
Tagged Cupid, Humor, Modern Philosopher, President Trump, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Sean Spicer, Steven Bannon, Trump's Executive Orders, Valentines' Day
14 Comments
Are You Better Off Being Single On Valentine’s Day?
The interns tell me, Modern Philosophers, that I have received a ton of emails from you requesting another Dating Tips post. With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, it seems like the perfect time to share my Deep Thoughts on the … Continue reading
Posted in Dating, Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged being single, Cupid, dating tips, Humor, Jedi, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, sarcasm, satire, Star Wars, Valentines' Day
24 Comments
When Cupid Met Jason…
They sat across from each other at a table in the middle of the crowded truck stop diner. Although worn out from their journey, they were both starving. “I had no idea the drive from Chicago to New York would … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Writing
Tagged Cupid, Friday the 13th, friends, Humor, Jason, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Sarcasm, satire, Valentines' Day, When Harry Met Sally...
16 Comments
Zombies Want To Win (Eat) Your Heart On Valentine’s Day
The Maine Zombie Authority has issued the following warning for all of Maine for the weekend beginning Friday February 13th and ending on Sunday February 15th. A Zombie Blizzard Warning is in effect for the entire state. This means that … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged Cupid, Daryl Dixon, Heart, Humor, Maine, Modern Philosopher, Sarcasm, satire, Valentine, Valentines' Day, Zombies
10 Comments
Stupid Cupid
Stupid Cupid, When ya gonna Find me love? Stop aiming Your arrow Down at me From above. Stupid Cupid, I’m a little worried About your aim. I’ve got a target Come here And I’ll tell you Her name. Stupid Cupid, … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry
Tagged Broken Heart, Cupid, Humor, Modern Philosopher, poem, Relationships, Romance, Sarcasm, satire, True Love, Valentines' Day
20 Comments
Cupid Retains Bangor Lawyer In Anticipation Of Malpractice Suits
Cupid has retained famed Bangor attorney, and friend of the blog, Cy Brown in anticipation of the malpractice lawsuits that get filed after every Valentine’s Day. “Everyone wants to fall in love for Valentine’s Day. Everyone wants to be struck … Continue reading
Posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy
Tagged Cupid, Humor, lawsuits, lawyers, malpractice, Modern Philosopher, Relationships, Romance, Sarcasm, satire, Valentines' Day
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