Tag Archives: Cupid

Maybe Cupid Cares About Your Budget

Posted on February 9, 2020 by Austin

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, Modern Philosophers.  I belong to a support group called Why Does Cupid Hate Us?, which is for people who have issues about being single.  Not everyone in the group is angry or bitter, but around … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor, Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Republicans Oppose Cupid’s Plan For Universal Love

Posted on February 9, 2019 by Austin

Apparently, President Trump and the Republican Party do not believe that everyone deserves to have a happy Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers. The Republicans today vowed to shoot down Cupid’s proposed plan for Universal Love. According to the plan set forth … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

No Love For Cupid

Posted on February 11, 2018 by Austin

“Any plans for Valentine’s Day?” The Devil asked with a charming smile as he reached for the Arts section of the Sunday paper. As always, my weekly guest wore an impeccably tailored suit.  Today, he’d added a red tie and … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Who’s Your Holiday Hero?

Posted on April 7, 2017 by Austin

It’s Friday night, Modern Philosophers, which means we  survived another week! This one was long and exhausting.  Not only did I work both jobs, with The Nite Show taping on Wednesday night, but I also dove headfirst into a new … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Trump Replaces Cupid With Steve Bannon

Posted on February 7, 2017 by Austin

If you were worried that President Trump had forgotten about Valentine’s Day, you can finally put your minds at ease, Modern Philosophers. With yet another Executive Order, President Trump has relieved Cupid of his annual duties and put Creepy Guy … Continue reading →

Posted in Humor, Love, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Are You Better Off Being Single On Valentine’s Day?

Posted on January 30, 2016 by Austin

The interns tell me, Modern Philosophers, that I have received a ton of emails from you requesting another Dating Tips post. With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, it seems like the perfect time to share my Deep Thoughts on the … Continue reading →

Posted in Dating, Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

When Cupid Met Jason…

Posted on February 13, 2015 by Austin

They sat across from each other at a table in the middle of the crowded truck stop diner.  Although worn out from their journey, they were both starving. “I had no idea the drive from Chicago to New York would … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Zombies Want To Win (Eat) Your Heart On Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 12, 2015 by Austin

The Maine Zombie Authority has issued the following warning for all of Maine for the weekend beginning Friday February 13th and ending on Sunday February 15th. A Zombie Blizzard Warning is in effect for the entire state. This means that … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Stupid Cupid

Posted on February 10, 2015 by Austin

Stupid Cupid, When ya gonna Find me love? Stop aiming Your arrow Down at me From above. Stupid Cupid, I’m a little worried About your aim. I’ve got a target Come here And I’ll tell you Her name. Stupid Cupid, … Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Cupid Retains Bangor Lawyer In Anticipation Of Malpractice Suits

Posted on February 10, 2015 by Austin

Cupid has retained famed Bangor attorney, and friend of the blog, Cy Brown in anticipation of the malpractice lawsuits that get filed after every Valentine’s Day. “Everyone wants to fall in love for Valentine’s Day.  Everyone wants to be struck … Continue reading →

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